The Fruits Basket Singing Game
by ilovekyosohma
Summary: the characters of fruits basket are getting together to play thesinging game, in which they must sing songs selected by me. if they refuse or fail, they will be forced to kiss someone! hahahahaha! Of course, as time wears on, much more than that happens:
1. The Singing Game Begins

Disclaimer: I no own no manga, and none anime, and I no want be broke, not on new years day! PWEASE NO SUE!!!!!

Ok, this is the fruits basket Singing Game. Every furuba character is going to sing a song, and if they won't do it or if they mess up, they have to kiss someone! Okay! Here we go, the beautiful young gir-guy yuki-kun is first!

Me: ok, yuki you have to go first. Hmmmm, what shall I make you sing???

Yuki: oh, please, god, nothing awful!

Me: kyou-kun, what should yuki sing for us?

Kyou: evil laughter make him sing a james blunt song. Serve him right.

Me: huh, that's actually a pretty good idea. Ok, sing….'High'.

Yuki: groan fine. Gimme the words.

Me: gives yuki words to song.

Yuki: oh my god.

Beautiful dawn, lights up the shore for me,

There is nothing else in the world,

I'd rather wake up and see, With you,

Beautiful dawn, I'm just chasing time again,

Thought I would die a lonely man, In endless night,

But now I'm high, running wild among all the stars above,

Sometimes, it's hard to believe you, remember me…..

(sings the rest of the song)

Me: yay! Yuki-kun sang for us beautifully! Ok, baka neko san is next.

Kyou: what did you just call me?

Me: bakaneko-san. that's your name. anyway, since you helped with yuki's he gets to help with yours, okaaaaaaaaaay?????

Kyou: WHHHHAAAAAAATTTT???????

Yuki: evil laugh with pleasure, Sumi-kun. Might I recommend 'Kill a kitten' by stephen lynch? It's very happy song. What do you think, kyou, sumi?

Kyou: NOOOO!

Me: yay! You're so smart yuki-kun! Okay! Kyou, sing 'Kill a kitten'.

Kyou: no! I won't sing it!

Me: is that a refusal?

Kyou: yes! It is a very obvious clear refusal.

Me: he said no. oh, goody.

Kyou: why does that make you so happy?

Me: evil laughter because if you refuse you have to kiss someone!

Kyou: whaaat?!? Who?

Me: hmmmm…..that's tough. Kagura, not counting you, who do you think?

Kagura: who do I think? How about…..oh my god!

Me: you just had the same idea I did, didn't you?

Kagura: oh definitely.

Me: kyou, you have to kiss……

Me and kagura: YUKI!

Yuki and kyou: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!?

Me: do it or sing the song.

Kyou: aww, hell. Fine.

Fangirls: yaaaayyyyyyyy!

Yuki: why would I even agree to that??????!??????

Me: because if you don't I'll hug you in school.

Yuki: ok fine.

(yuki and kyou kiss.)

Me: omg! Omg! OMG! That was so freakin fantastic! Yaoi!!!!!!

(yuki and kyou wash their mouths out with soap)

Me: ok, that was really short but I have homework. See you next time with a longer one. It will have tohru, kagura, and shigure, but I'm not telling what happens. That's for me to know and you to find out january 1st.


	2. A brief AN from Sumi san

Ok, sumi here. Just a note, the second singing game part will be out either January 1st or December 31st. if you like it so far, please review! I love reviews! They make me so happy! And this is my first thing ever so don't get angry, or I WILL go ritsu on you. That isn't a warning. It's a threat. If you want to offer constructive critisicm that's good. I learn a lot from you guys, thanks for reviewing! I love you all so much! (gets teary eyed and breaks down. Is carried away by hot anime guys. Yay!)

Sumi Tanaka has spoken

(by the way, that's english order.)


	3. A Mix Up and a Perv

Ok, welcome to another chapter of the 'Fruits Basket Singing Game!' in this chapter we are going to have tohru kagura and shigure. We're not quite sure what we're gonna make them sing, we aren't very good at thinking of songs they would hate singing…..

Yuki: then why do you…hey wait…..you mean you're torturing us on purpose?

Me: well of course. What did you think I was doing?

Yuki: I really do not like her.

Me: so sad. Anyway, tohru goes first. We have to make her sing something kyou would really freak out about you know, something………

Kagura: indecent?

Me: yep, that's the word.

Kyou: WHAAAAAAT?!?

Me: oh, poor kyou. Anyway, tohru, how about you sing……..we can't be too mean to her, ok, kagura? Just something kyou would hate.

Kagura: ok. Hey, have you noticed how often I help you?

Me: yeah, I did. Wanna be friends?

Kagura: yeah!

Me: ok, cool. Anyway, how about you sing ….oh, I can't make her sing anything that would annoy kyou that I wouldn't feel bad about.

Kagura: how about we just make her sing 'Wind It Up'?

Me: ok, that's good. How come I can't come up with this stuff and you can?

Kagura: I just know more songs, is all.

Me: kaaaaaaaagura oneeeeeeeechan?

Kagura: yeah, sumi?

Me: do you wanna do my job? I can sing for you.

Kagura: ok! Since I'm doing your job am I the author now?

Me: yep!

Kagura: ok, cool. Tohru, sing 'Wind It Up'

Tohru: the song by Gwen Stefani?

Me(actually, me is now kagura sohma): yep, that's the one.

Tohru: um, ok, I'm sorry if I mess up…..

Sumi: if you mess up, you get punished! Yay!

Tohru: (frightened) ooooo…..kkkkkk.

Music playing….

This is the key that makes us wind up,

When the beat comes on, the girls all line up,

And the boys all look but know they,

Can't touch,

But the girls want to know why,

Boys like us, so much,

Ahhhh! Where was I???????

Me(still kagura): ha! You messed up! Yay!

Sumi: I'm delighted! Haha! You know who I'm thinking of, right?

Me(and this is still kagura, dammit. Get that into your skulls): absolutely!

Me and sumi: tohru, you have to kiss…..

(all furuba people recoil in fear)

Me and sumi: YUKI!

Yuki: What!? Why do you two keep picking on me?

Sumi: because we love you!

Yuki: huh?

Sumi: we..well, I can't speak for kagura, but I at least enjoy seeing people I love being psychologically tortured. It's great fun.

Yuki: oh my god, you're a raving lunatic aren't you?

Sumi: yep! Crazy to the core!

Me(KAGURA!): now kiss!

Tohru: ahh! Um…..

Yuki: I hate you guys. I'm not doing it.

Sumi: huh. I haven't decided a punishment for refusing to kiss.

Me( I'm not gonna say it again): well, how about he has to kiss everybody after every turn unless he kisses tohru now?

Yuki: ok, ok, I'll do it.

Sumi: fabulous. Tohru? Same punishment if you won't.

Tohru: ah, um….fine.

(tohru and yuki kiss.)

Kyou: (boiling with inner anger)

Sumi: yay! Look at kyou! He's so mad!

Me: yay! Kyou-kun, my love! Will you please kiss me?

Kyou: no!

Me: please?

Kyou: no, No, NO!

Me: fine. I hate you. (punches kyou)

Sumi: hey kagura, is it my turn to sing?

Me: uh, yeah, I guess so. What should you sing??????

Sumi: I dunno.

Me: well, how about yuki picks?

Sumi: ok!

Yuki: what? Me? Pick for her? Yes! So yes!

(yuki loses normal calm demeanor and leaps around doing the cancan in midair.)

Yuki: uh, sorry about that. Anyway, kagura, what were you thinking?

Me: I was thinking evanescence or Cyndi lauper. I like them.

Yuki: no no no no no no no. it has to be cruel. Like she was cruel to us.

Me: but sumi is my friend……

Yuki: I don't care! (evil akito face) she must be punished!

Sumi: my god!

Akito: you called?

Sumi: yeah. Look at yuki!

Akito: oooooh!!!!!! Look at the scary face! He takes after me!

Yuki: (stops trying to kill sumi) what? No I don't! why would I?

Akito: yuke…..I am your father.

Yuki: what? No you aren't! you're only like 4 years older than me.

Akito: oh yeah. Never mind.

Sumi: um, ok….that was….

Me: weird?

Sumi: yeah…….

Me: ok, why don't you just sing while they have their little chat…..

Sumi: what am I singing?

Me: how about 'All Through The Night' by Cyndi Lauper?

Sumi: ooh, I like that song! Ok!

All through the night,

I'll be awake, and I'll be with you,

All through the night,

This precious time, when time is new,

All, All through the night today,

Knowing we feel the same without saying,

(singy singy singy, ladeeda, finishes song)

Me: yay! You sing well!

Sumi: (bows) oh thank you!

Me: ok, next up is shigure.

Shigure: me?

Me: yes, you.

Shigure: yay! I get an award!

Me: ummmm…

Sumi: no. You aren't at an award ceremony. You're locked in my attic.

Shigure: oh. What did you need me for then?

Sumi: we want you to sing.

Shigure: I see! I admit, I do have a marvelous singing voice, but no.

Sumi: you sure???

Shigure: yes, I'm afraid so.

Me: you absolutely sure?

Shigure: yes, I'm positive.

Me and sumi: yay!!!!!!!

Yuki: oh no, please not me again!

Me: nope, not this time.

Yuki: oh good.

Sumi: you won't be quite so pleased….

Me and sumi: when you find out what weeeeeee'vvve chosen!

Kyou: do you guys communicate using telepathy so you can talk like that?

Sumi: nope. We just get the same thoughts at the same time.

Me(just a reminder, this is kagura!): great minds think alike and all.

Shigure: what are you talking about, chose?

Me: (giggle) when someone refuses to sing, they have to kiss someone!

Shigure: really?

Sumi: yep! And for you, we chose…….

Me and sumi: TOHRU!

Tohru: oh, no.

Shigure: oooooohhhhhh! High school girls, high school girls…..(sings)

Kyou and yuki: WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?

Tohru: I just give in.

Shigure: yeah, yeah, me too!

(shigure and tohru kiss)

Me and sumi: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!

Sumi: anyway, this one was a lot longer than the last one. We're gonna end it here, don't you think, kagura?

Me: yep, sounds good. Next time we're having an even longer one featuring Doctor Seahorse, Tiger Girl, Super Snake, and The Moo Cow. See you then!

Me again: random outburst: I LOVE KYOU!!!!!!!

(attacks kyou)

Sumi: er….right. bye!


	4. SORRY, not a chapter

Oh no! I'm so sorry! I still haven't updated! Please forgive me! Would you guys mind waiting until the 3rd? I know I should have updated, but I've been really busy and suffering from lack of writing time! I really am really sorry! But I'll put out part three on the third, and part four on the fourth. After that I'm uncertain. But, yeah, I'm sorry I haven't updated! Really really really really SORRY! I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE!


	5. Ayame, Dr Seahorse, and a Surprise

Ok, Hatori, kisa, ayame, and haru are up next. Kisa is first.

Kisa: um, ok. What should I sing?

Me(kagura. This isn't ilovekyosohma): how about 'Shoes' by Kelly?

Hiro: what!? NO! she isn't singing that!

Sumi (this IS ilovekyosohma): why not? Do you not want her to because you LOVE her? Is that what this is about, sheep boy?

Hiro: what!!!??? Of course not! What am I doing here anyway?

Sumi: uh oh.

Me: he's thinking of leaving.

Sumi: PUNISH HIM!

Hiro: what!? Punish me? How?

Sumi: kiss kisa!

Me: now!

Hiro: what!!!!???

Kisa: um…..

Sumi: haha! Kiss her or I'll hit you!

Hiro: You aren't that much older than me! I don't have to listen to you!

Sumi: fine! (hugs hiro)

Hiro: baa!?!

Me: ok, kisa, you can sing now.

Kisa: erm. Ok.

(kisa sings 'shoes')

Me and sumi: yay! You're so cute kisa!

Kisa: ah, why hasn't hiro changed back?

Me: hmm?

Sumi: no clue.

POOF(hiro changes back)

Sumi: there ya go. Hiro, here's your clothes. Put them on really really really fast, ok? you're disturbing me and kisa.

(hiro gets dressed and goes to sulk in the corner like a baby)

Hiro: why am I in the corner? I'm getting up. Hey, why can't I get up?

Sumi: because kagura and I didn't say you could. We're the authors, so you do what we say. Got it, you silly little sheep?

Hiro: what did you call me?!?

Me: she called you a silly sheep. Got a problem with that?

Hiro: yes I have a problem with that! I am not a silly sheep!

Me: coulda fooled me. The silly part is obvious, and after sumi hugged you there's no doubt that you're a sheep. So logically, you are a silly sheep.

Hiro: I am not silly!

Sumi: ok. Whatever. Shall we move on, kagura?

Me: oh yes, let's. alright. Hatsuharu is up now.

Haru: (wakes up) someone say my name?

Sumi: yep. It's your turn.

Me: and we want you to sing 'Down With The Sickness'.

Haru: gah, whatever. Here I go with the Disturbed.

Drowning deep in my sea of loathing  
Broken your servant I kneel  
(Will you give in to me?)  
It seems what's left of my human side  
Is slowly changing...in me  
(Will you give in to me?)

Looking at my own reflection  
When suddenly it changes  
Violently it changes  
Oh no, There is no turning back now  
You've woken up the demon...in me

(finishes song. Whee, haru singing!)

Sumi: yay! Yay! Yay! yay!

Me: that was actually really good. I…wow. Hey kyou?

Kyou: oh god, what?

Me: I don't love you anymore. I love haru instead.

Haru and kyou: WHAT?!?

Me: yep. He's hotter and he sings better and he's nicer when he's white and cooler when he goes black and I just love everything about him!

Kyou: free…..i feel like I no longer know the meaning of the word. Is it possible that I am now truly free? Have I been released from my bonds?

Me: yep. Haru is the one I'm after now.

Haru: I'd be happy for you, kyou, but I'm not exactly benefitting from this situation any, now, am i? I mean, she's kagura.

Me: and there's something wrong with that? I LOVE you, haru.

Haru: yeah, that's why I'm worried. I mean, think about the number of times kyou has nearly DIED because you freaked out?

Me: you know those were accidents.

Haru: they happen too often for me to not be afraid of you.

Me: whatever. I love you anyway.

Sumi: eh, kagura, it's time for either Hatori or Ayame to sing.

Me: (stops choking haru with hugs) oh, right.

Haru: God, Save me!

Akito: don't feel like it.

Haru: why not?

Akito: just cause.

Haru: please?

Akito: no! anyway, they have to get on with the game! Shut up.

Me: eh, right. Up next is Ayame. All you Aya-Haters can just skip it.

Ayame: (traditional ayame-style laugh) now I shall SING for yuki!

Yuki: ugh. Haven't you tortured me enough?

Me and sumi: never!!!!!!

Sumi: anyway, Aya-nii, you get to pick your own song.

Me: huh? Why?

Sumi: (looks at ayame with glitter eyes.) because he's my brother!

Yuki: WHAT?

Sumi: not really, you dumbkopff. I just wish he was.

Yuki: wait wait wait. Let me get this straight…..

Sumi: kay…..

Yuki: you actually WANT him to be your brother?

Sumi: YEP!!!

Yuki: praise the Akito. You can have him.

Aya: yes! I shall have a beautiful little sister instead of an unloving brother.

Sumi: really?

Ayame: (ayame laugh) yes, yes, of course. Let's go now!

Sumi: yeah! Let's!

Me: kay…….whatever.

(sumi and ayame leave.)

Me: well, how are we gonna post this on fanfiction dot net with her gone?

Yuki: no idea. Does anyone know her password?

(no response)

Yuki: didn't think so. Oh well, let's get on with it, kagura.

Me: ok! Since ayame left, Hatori, a.k.a. Dr.Seahorse, is singing now.

Hatori: since when am I doctor seahorse?

Me: since last chappie, keep up, Ha'ri.

Hatori: and of course kagura would be running such an absurd thing as this.

Me: well, Sumi-Chan was running it, but then I took over and then she went with ayame so now it's just me and I don't know her password.

Hatori: no idea what you're talking about. Do you feel feverish?

Me: oh, Ha'ri, you think everything is medical. Agh. Just sing.

Hatori: I would if I knew what I was singing.

Me: oh yeah. Ermmmmmmm………

Monster: muahahahahahahaha! I am here to eat this fanfic! Muahahahahaha! Dr.Seahorse will not be permitted to sing, and neither will anyone else! The only way I will allow it is if people review in exchange for cookies!

A/N: oh no! I really was going to write this, but now there's a monster! Virtual cookies1 will be given to anyone who reviews! Yay, virtual cookies!

1Virtual Cookies: your name in the next chappie. If you give me a good idea, I will probably use it. Remember, we have Hatori, Hiro, Ritsu, Momiji, Rin, Kureno, Akito, Hanajima, and Uo left. Any ideas? Cookies……


	6. Reviewer Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own these ideas, these fanfiction(dot)net names, or the songs or artists. I already told you people I don't own fruits basket. I do own Memi. 

Ok! Chapter four of The Fruits Basket Singing Game is now in progress. And guess what? As a thank you to my reviewers, I am going to use EVERY SINGLE ONE of your suggestions in this chapter! Yay, reviews!

Sumi: ok, I'm back! Wow, it's so cool too be ayame's sister. Yay!

Monster: since I got some reviews, I will allow this fanfic to continue for one more chapter. After this one, I require more reviews for a fifth chapter.

Me(kagura sohma): ok, monster-san. can we make people sing now?

Monster: okeedokey. (leaves temporarily)

Me: ok, since we're doing a reviewer suggestion chapter, it doesn't really have anything to do with the game. But every reviewer gets mentioned! Yay! Your name being mentioned is your 'virtual cookie'. For those of you who were hoping for more cookieish cookies, sorry. You guys can have the word if you want. COOKIE. There. And for my anonymous reviewer Kaira, who asked for chocolate chip: CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE FOR KAIRA AND NO ONE ELSE. DO NOT TOUCH, UNLESS YOU ARE KAIRA. Now that I have skillfully mentioned Kaira, I shall use her idea. Uo-Chan and Hana-Chan have to sing the song 'Us Against The World' by Play.

Hana and uo: wait. Why do we have to sing? Sumi told us we were exempt from singing.

Sumi: hell, I'm not in charge here. And anyway, don't you want to avoid kisses?

Hana: ah. you are threatening us. I have already discovered that my powers have been disabled here, so I am afraid I will have to agree to your foolish demands.

Uo: you took my pipe and control my limbs. I give up.

Hana and uo: (singing)

There is no one else I can say this to

And there is nothing better than to talk to you

If you have a problem I'll be here for you

'Cause girl you always know that

Its Us Against The World

(singing a-singing, blah blah blah.)

Me: ok, uo is free now.

Uo: huh? Why just me?

Sumi: because one of our wonderful readers, the fabulous Cathy-the reader, suggested, among other things, that Hanajima kiss kyou, and…well…..

Me: we think she's one of the most intelligent people on thhe planet. So we're gonna do just that. Hanajima, you don't even get the option of singing.

Sumi: nope. Kiss Kyou.

Hanajima: I still understand what you are saying. Resistance….

Sumi: yes. Resistance. Is.

Me: Futile.

Hanajima: kyou, my advice is to give in before they devise something worse.

Kyou: gah, no! anything is better than kissing that pyschic freak. ANYTHING!

Me and sumi: anything?

Kyou: yes!

Me and sumi: anything?

Kyou: ah….yeah?

Me and sumi: Anything…Kyou-Kun? Anything?

Kyou: maybe.

Me: very well. Instead of hana, you must kiss……

Me and sumi: (begin to speak)---

Haru: hold on.

Me: what?

Haru: do you have to talk at the same time like that?

Me: noooooo…..i guess not.

Haru: kay. Then just pick one of you to say it.

Me: well, it should be me. I'm running this thing.

Sumi: actually, I should. I invented this thing. I pwn you.

Me: do not! I thought of the person first.

Sumi: no you didn't! I did!

Me: there's no way to proove that!

Sumi: than there's no way to prove YOU thought of it first either!

Kyou: ok! Ok! OK! I'll kiss the wave girl, just SHUT UP!

Me and sumi: kay!!!!

(hana and kyou kiss)

Me: good kitty.

Kyou: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY??????

Me: noooooothing……..kitty.

Kyou: see, you just said it again!

Me: what? I didn't say anything.

Kyou: (growls)

Me: oh yeah, real scary kyou. (huggles haru to death)

Haru: help..gah..she's……choking..cho….choking…me…uh..

Kyou: sorry, haru, can't help ya. Bye!

Sumi: er….kagura? we should get going, I kinda doubt this is interesting.

Me: oh, right. (releases haru) we're gonna do the two suggestions for the llama song. The first we got from Cathy-the reader, the one who made kyou and hana kiss. She also suggested that we have either momiji or hiro sing it. We've decided to combine those two in with Rae-Anime-Neko's suggestion that we have rin sing it, "because she's closest to the llama" so yeah….

Sumi: hiro, momiji, and rin all have to sing the llama song.

Rin: huh? (incredulous and pissed off look)

Hiro: WHAT!? I'm not doing something as stupid as that!!!!

Momiji: ooookkkkk!!!!!!!! Oh, and if Rae-Anime-Neko wanted to come into this fanfic I would marry her!!!! (happy little bunny smile at Rae-Anime-Neko)

Sumi: wait a sec…

Me: can't go yet. Must sing.

Momiji: YAY!!!

Hiro: grrrrr….

Rin: ……..No.

Sumi: ok….

Me: who do you guys feel like kissing????

Momiji: huh? I thought we were singing???? o.0

Hiro: fine. I'll sing the damn song.

Rin: ugh. Fine.

Me and sumi: yay!!!

Hiro and rin sulkily, and momiji overenthusiastically:

Here's a llama  
There's a llama  
And another little llama  
Fuzzy llama  
Funny llama  
Llama llama  
Duck

Llama llama  
Cheesecake  
Llama  
Tablet  
Brick  
Potato  
Llama  
Llama llama  
Mushroom  
Llama  
Llama llama  
Duck

I was once a treehouse  
I lived in a cake  
But I never saw the way  
The orange slayed the rake  
I was only three years dead  
But it told a tale  
And now listen, little child  
To the safety rail

Did you ever see a llama  
Kiss a llama  
On the llama  
Llama's llama  
Tastes of llama  
Llama llama  
Duck

Half a llama  
Twice the llama  
not a llama  
Farmer  
Llama  
Llama in a car  
Alarm a llama  
Llama  
Duck

Is THIS how it's told now?  
Is it all so old?  
Is it made of lemon juice?  
Doorknob  
Ankle  
Cold  
Now my song is getting thin  
I've run out of luck  
Time for me to retire now  
And become a duck

(A/N I know I usually onluy include a little, but this is just so absurd I had to put the whole thing so people who haven't heard the song will get the idea of how much hiro and rin despise singing it. Oh, and they are probably scowling as they sing. Heehee.)

Momiji: yay! Rae-Anime-Neko?

Rae-Anime-Neko: yes?

Momiji: let's go!

(Rae-Anime-Neko and momiji run off and vanish)

Sumi: er….did we say he could go?

Me: this is the reviewer chapter. He'll be back next chappie.

Sumi: oh. Ok!

Me: sumi, check the list and see what's next.

Sumi: ok, next we have another idea from Cathy-the reader. This one is for Hatori. Hatori has to sing a song called 'he loves you not' by Dream. (laughter) yeah. Ok, hatori-kun?

Hatori: oh my god. I hate you evil girls. Kagura, sumi, I think you guys might be a little bit pyscho. I refuse to sing.

Sumi: you have to. We say so.

Me: ahem. 'and then hatori sang 'he loves you not' by Dream'. Un-ahem.

Hatori: (struggling against the power of the author-magic.) but it's a GIRL'S song!!!

Me and sumi: we don't care! We think Cathy-the reader didn't actually mean for you to sing it, but she gave us this evil idea, and we went with it. (evil laughter)

Haru: wow. That was really long to say the exact same thing.

Me and sumi: we know. We're stuck in synced-up mode. Now hatori, sing!

Hatori: NOOOOO!!!!!! (begins singing with his now miraculously girly voice due to the power of what I am now typing! Muahahahaha!)

He loves me, He loves you not.  
He loves me, He loves me not.  
He loves me, He loves YOU not.  
HE LOVES YOU NOT.

NOOOOO!!!! HA! I resisted your evil magic! Haha! Ha! Hahaha! (insane laughter)

Me and Sumi: uh oh. He broke his brain trying to resist. That's bad.

Hatori: can't sleep. Clowns will eat me. (curls into fetal position and twitches)

Me and sumi: heavens. Looks like it was pretty bad.

Haru: are you guys still stuck?

Me and sumi: yep. We have to talk like this until the next chapter.

Kyou: WHAT!?

Me and sumi: yep. Basically we've become one mouth. We're like Memi.

Me and sumi: hey, I actually kinda like that.

Haru: you do?

Memi: yep. See, we're Memi now.

Kyou yuki and haru: oh god. They're even crazier than HIM!

HIM(a.k.a. Hatori): cLoWNs…..(rocks back and forth)

Memi: er…I don't think any sane person is as crazy as that.

Haru: did you just refer to yourself as SANE?

Memi: yes. I am sane.

Haru: but you just said 'I am sane.'

Memi: uh..i am.

Haru: keyword: I. YOU SPOKE AS IF THERE WAS ONE OF YOU!!!

Memi: there is only one. I am Memi.

Haru: oh god they really are cuckoo. We must end it here! CUT!

(fizz, crackle, lights go out)

This is my breaker thinger. What? I'm lazy.

A/N: ok, this is a weird chapter. And I am aware I left out a suggestion. That's because I lurvles it and I want to use it later. Now, you may be thinking 'didn't she leave and two?' and that is where you'd be wrong. Hehehehehehehehehehe.

This is my breaker thinger. What? I'm lazy.

(fizz, crackle, lights go on)

Memi: haru, you can't just decidxe it's over. We have a suggestion left. For momiji. It's Rae-Anime-Neko's suggestion, so she's going to bring him back to sing.

Momiji: hallo!!!! I'm here to sing the bunny hop!

Memi: yep. Ok, he's all willing and happy, so just sing it.

Momiji: ok! Here it goes!

Wait…where are my lyrics?

Memi: oh, right. We couldn't find them. So instead, you must sing..er.

Momiji????

Memi: can't think of anything. So you have to kiss kisa.

Momiji: ok!

Kisa: erm….

Memi: (cough)punishment(coughcough)

Kisa: ok.

Hiro: (belatedly) WHAT!?!?!?!?!?

Memi: oh, shut up, hiro.

Momiji: yay! I lurvles kisa-chan! Sehr hubsch! (translation: you're so cute. Got this from the manga. he says this to tohru when he first meets her)

(momiji and kisa kiss. For you peoples who think she's too young for him, he's like 15 and she's like 12 or 13, so it's all good.   )

Hiro: grrrrrrrrrrrrr(gets hugged by Memi)baaaaaaaaa……

(momiji huggles kisa and then gets dragged away by Rae-Anime-Neko)

Memi: um, I guess that's it. Bye! We'll see you

Monster: muahahahahaha! I demand more food-I mean reviews! Or I will eat this fanfic!

Memi: oh no! save us from the monster! Review review review! We're begging you!

Zodiacs and stuff: aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE END………..FOR NOW. (evil laughter as Memi plots Things)


	7. No Singing and A Cousin

Oh no!!! I am SO sorry! I have had the worst writer's block EVER! Thank all of you people for waiting so long. This chapter is dedicated to all of my reviewers, ReallyCoolandHotDork, Rae-Anime-Neko, Ulrich's Hot Girlfriend, Stopthepress28, Pure Shikon, Kaira(anon.), Cathy-the reader, elfmaiden93(anon.), Sumiko(anon.), and iwufdogs. I think that was everyone. Thank you all! I can't believe my first story ever got sixteen reviews! I will try to write alot faster now. Ok, here is chapter FIVE! w00t!

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, and I don't own the somgs. I've said this before, and it is now REALLY BORING!!!!

Memi: hello!! Welcome back to The Fruits Basket Singing Game!

Haru: I thought you guys were going to stop doing that now…

Memi: well, it really is easier to type Memi than Me and Sumi, so..

Kyou: ugh. You mean we have to put up with that?

Memi: yep. But I think next chapter we might just go with separate. Who knows?

Yuki: if this is a new chapter, why is Hatori stil crazy and Momiji still gone?

Memi: cause I felt like it. Momiji'll be back later this chapter, but I'm actually kind of intigued by hatori's distinct insanity..

Hatori: ah!!! a horrible monster with pink puffballs all over it!!

Memi: huh. Looks like he's sane after all.

Monster: muahahaha! I have eaten-grr, read. I have READ all of your reviews, and there are not enough! I shall not allow this chapter to continue! Muahahahaha!

Me(ka-gu-ra): oh no! Sumi, Tohru, Kisa, Rin, get ready to fight!

Sumi: fluffy flower glitter transformation!

Tohru: magic swirl cat transformation!

Kisa: dance twirl kaliedo transformation!

Rin: why the hell am I doing this? Transformation!

Me: Isuzu! We gave you lines!

Rin: it's not like the whole happy banana poof transformation actually wor-

Me: hahaha! Anyway, Sparkle Power Team, GO!

Monster: muahahaha! You shall never defeat me!

Me: yes we will! In the name of fanfiction, you shall be defeated! We will get you for your evil deeds, Puffycon! Sparkle Power Team, attack!

Puffycon: muahahah! You shall never defeat me!

Kisa: Sparkle Tiger Fire Glitter Attack!

Rin: Sparkle Horse Dark Magic Attack!

Tohru: Sparkle Tohru Smile Swirl Attack!

Sumi: Sparkle Ink Glowing Metal Attack!

Me: Sparkle Leader Pink Beam Attack!

Sparkle Power Team: Sparkle Powers, ACTIVATE!!

(huge explosion of colorful poofs and glitter and stars and pink things)

Monster: ow! Ow! You stupid Sparkle Power Team girls got glitter in my eyes! Ow!

Me: yes! Another vicious monster defeated through teamwork! Yay!

Monster: owow! I need to go home and get this out of my eyes! Ow!! I'm leaving!

(exit monster, stage right)

Rin: ugh, I cannot believe you made me do that. I'm disgusted.

Kisa: I thought it was fun…I think. Did I think it was fun, tohru?

Tohru: I did! Did you?

Kisa: um..yeah.

Me: heheheh. Getting glitter in monster's eyes is fun.

Sumi: what an interesting experience. No one at home is going to believ me when I tell them this story. No one.

Me: no, probably not. It's too weird. Not only are you talking with and torturing people out of a manga, but you've also become a 'Magical Girl'. Too weird.

Sumi: yeah. I never thought, when I started this, that anything this strange would happen.

Me: me neither.

Sumi: you know something?

Me: huh?

Sumi: we're the only one's talking.

Me: huh. I wonder why. The others are still here.

Sumi: what are they doing in the corner over there?

Me: I really and truly don't know.

Sumi: perhaps something has scared them?

Me: perhaps.

Sumi: but what?

Me: could be us.

Sumi: us? Noooo…never.

Me: you're right. That's just plain silly.

Sumi: yeah. I mean, if they were scared of us they'd just leave.

Me: right!

Sumi: they problem with that excuse is that they can't leave unless you write them out.

Me: hmm..yeah. but still, scared of us? Noooooo.

Sumi: of course not!

(all peoples but kagura and sumi exit room)

Sumi: why'd you do that?

Me: I didn't! I felt I really bad author controlling my fingers.

Sumi: huh?

Me: yeah, there was this REALLY terrible author making me type that. And I mean bad!

Shigure: hey! Who are you calling a bad author!?

Me: uhhhh…..you?

Sumi: just get them all back I here kagura.

Me: ah. right.

(everyone who was here before gets sucked inside. Sumi's cousin, too.)

SC: where am i? oh, --------( edited for privacy reasons), you're here too?

Sumi: yep.

SC: where are we?

Sumi: we're in a fanfiction. I was writing it, but then Kagura took over.

SC: kagura? Like from fruits basket?

Sumi: yep. It's a fruits basket fanfic, they're all here, see? In the corner hiding.

SC: oh my god that's so cool! All the hot guys are here!!!!

Sumi: I know!!!! And kisa is so cute! Kagura's really nice and rin is awesome!

SC: wow that's so cool!!

Sumi: I know!!!! Isn't it!?!?

Me: have you noticed no one has sung anything?

Sumi: yeeeeeaaaahhhh….. welll this is just a quickie chapter. It's almost ovr anyway. Oh, but one thing just to make it seem more singing-game-like.

SC: huh?

Sumi: nothing. Anyway, HATSUHARU!

Haru: errrr……aaahhhh…uummmmm…..

Sumi: sing 'Kissy Kissy' or suffer the consequences!

Haru: (dead) consequences please.

Sumi: very well. Kagura, (whispery).

Me: ok. Haru, sing it or you have to kiss Sumi.

Haru: huh?

Sumi: muahahahahahahaha! Pleeeeeaaaase?

Haru: evil laugh's aren't very cute.

Sumi: pleeeeeaaaase?

Haru: ah…um…

Me: (singing quietly) kissy kissy, makes me happy, honey, honey…(humming)

Haru: ok!

(haru and sumi kiss)

(sumi dies from love)

Me: well, I guess that means this, as well as Sumi's other series 'Fruits Of Insanity' are over for a bit. See you when she's alived again! Bye!

Everyone still alive: thank god. Bye!

Akito: would you please think before you speak? THAT WORD freaks me out.

Me: right.

Everyone still alive: bye!

AN: ok, that's the end for a while. I won't have time to write much. Sowwy to the people who liked it!


	8. For My Reviewers: A Note Of Love

I just really wanted to thank evrybody who reviewed because you have no idea how special you make me feel. I'm just a silly person who likes putting her silly ideas into fanfics, but you all act like I'm something special, and that makes me FEEL special. So thank you all. I also want to thank anyone who reads it without reviewing, because you even bothering to look at my story makes me happy! I hope if I ever publish a book or a manga people say such nice things as you reviewers! At this point I already have 17 reviews! 17! That's amazing. And another thing! I like making you happy, because being happy seems to encourage you to review, which makes me happy. So send in your suggestions and I will be likely to do them. I don't mind sticking you guys in my story if thats what you want. Just know you won't be in there permanently. Nothing I write is permanent, it's all very brief and fleeting. I hope you keep reading and reviewing! I would be delighted if I got 20 reviews! Just three more! If three people would review, I would have 20!!!!!!! Yay! I love all you guys, thanks for reading my terrible fanfic this far, and I want to apologize for the fact that I have not been writing and will not be writing for a while. I'm so sorry! You guys are great!

Sumi Tanaka, terrible fanfic author


	9. A Short Little Act 6

Hello, this is CHAPTER 6 of the fruits basket singing game. Last chapter, tohru, sumi, kisa, rin, and I turned into a team of 'magical girls', the Sparkle Power Team. And just to clear things up in case anyone got mad, I really do like magical girl animes. I just had to pick on them. Why? Because just like I torture the people I love, I abuse the things I love. I'm strange that way. Also, yay for 22 reviews, my total at this time. You have inspired me to work through my busy schedule (wake up, eat breakfast, draw manga, have lunch, read manga, draw manga, watch anime, eat dinner, read manga, read books, draw manga, draw even more manga, sleep for a few hours, repeat process starting at 'wake up')

Disclaimer: I own every volume of fruits basket, and many of kare kano, yet I own neither. Isn't that kinda strange and contradictory?

Me(K.S.): so! Welcome back to the singing game. We are going to do something special this round. We are going to JUDGE YOUR SINGING! yes, you heard correctly. The prize for the best singer is something I'm sure you're all dying to have, so I suggest you try your very hardest in this round. Sumi, the rules please.

Sumi: alright. The rules stand thus: no cheating. As in, things like lipsyncing (it's too noticeable, anyway) or faking it in any way. No chickening out. You have to sing. There is no 'out' option. No singing anything other than the song you are presented by us. And finally, No bribing or talking back to any of the judges. The person who gets first place will be exempt from the kissing punishment the non-winners receive.

SC(Sumi's Cousin): -------, what in the world is going on?

Sumi: I told you to call me sumi.

SC: when?

Sumi: in between chapters.

SC: oh yeah. Anyway, what in the world is going on?

Sumi: like I said, it's a fanfiction. Just relax and do what Kagura and I say.

SC: right.

Me: ok, moving on. I will now introduce our judges! Judge #1 is yours truly, grading overall performance. Judge #2 is Sumi, grading emotion during song. Judge #3 is Sumi's Cousin, who for the purposes of this fanfic we shall name Aiko, grading your actual singing. Judge #4 is kare kano's main character Yukino Miyazawa, grading the perfectness of your performance. And our final Judge, #5, will be another kare kano character by the name of Sakura Tsubaki(I don't know what order her names go in!) who will be judging your dancing. Alright, Ayame-nii is first, and he will be singing…um…

Sumi: how about…well, actually, I have no idea.

Me: hmm…how about….

Puffycon(yes, he's back): ok, i FINALLY got the glitter out of my eyes. Now I have returned to put a stop to this absurd and terrible fanfic!

Memi: and how are you going to do that?

Puffycon: by turning it into a non-absurd yet still terrible fanfic! Muahahahahahahahaha!

Sumi: a wha?

Puffycon: a non-absurd yet still terrible fanfic.

Me: and you're going to do that how?

Puffycon: like this!

(the world begins to spin and twirl. When it stops, puffycon transport everyone into a different world. They are all standing around at home.)

Too$ru sighd and streched. "omg, no1 iz arond." She said. (no, tohru isn't speaking in tongues. She's just been transported into a really horrible fanfic). Sudenli, ther wus a nock at te dor. "oh, I wunder hu that cud b?" she wundered. Tooru went and anserd it. Ther wus a gurl hu wus all bluudy. "oh my god, wat happened 2 u?" she askd her. the gurl wus cring and crying. Tooru brot her insid. Ten kyo cam insid. "oh, kyo-kun" said tooru, bluushing. "hi, tooru." Said kyo, and he wus blushing to. Then he sahw the gurl. "hu the hec iz she" he askd? Tooru paniced. "o, she wus otside all blody and I hd 2 sav her!" panicd tooru. And then the fanfic went really fast and kyo fell madly in love with the girl and then he found out she was actually a zodiac member who got left out like him and yuki and 'tooru' fell in love also, and everyone yelled at akito and then it ended. Why, you ask? Because all that horrible spelling was hurting me. Guess what else? The puffycon transported everyone back to the game. The bad spelling was hurting him too. Apparently, puffball covered monsters are allergic to bad spelling.

Puffycon: ooch, ooch, it itches! I hate bad spelling!

Tohru: well, THAT was a horrifying experience.

Kyo: ugh. Since when do I fall in love just like that?

Me: I know, right? Well, we should get on with the contest, but that will have to wait until next chapter, because we've arranged a special meeting with our faithful reviewer, Cathy-the reader, on a whim. We like whims.

Sumi: yep. Alright, so everyone please welcome, Cathy!

(a girl bounces into the room)

Cathy: hi!!! I'm sosososososo excited to be here! Thank you so much!

Me: no problem. So, you know why you're here, right?

Cathy: yeah. To interview kyou!

Kyou: what?

Sumi: we didn't tell you cause we knew you'd refuse.

Kyou: well guess what? You were right. I refuse.

Me: you can't, she's already here.

Kyou: I don't care, just get her out, because I for one am not-(is controlled)going to make her leave. I'm going to sit down like the stupid little catboy I am.

Sumi: took the words right out of my mouth there, kyo.

Kyou: wait, no I didn't mean to say that! I meant to say-(is controlled) I am sitting down and I will answer all of Cathy's questions truthfully.

Cathy: yay! Ok, my first question is something all you fangirls might be interested in, and that is what type of girl are you interested in?

Kyou: what makes you think I'm gonna answer a stupid question like that?

Memi: hmmmmm, I dunno, maybe cause I have you saying you would on tape?

Kyou: grrrrrrr……

Memi: hemHEM.

Kyou: fine. I guess I like girls who can sorta be strong, ya know? Like, emotionally and sorta physically. But they should be kinda sweet and nice too.

Cathy: ok, cool. Second question, what type of guy are you interested in?

Kyou: WHAT????????

Cathy: what kind of guy would you go out with?

Kyou: what makes you think I'd go out with a guy?!?

Cathy: lots of things. What kind?

Kyou: I'm not interested in guys!

Cathy: are you sure?

Kyou: I'm positive.

Cathy: I know you're at least a little bit gay.

Kyou: I am NOT!

Cathy: yes you are. So just answer the question.

Me: yeah. (examines kyou's brain)

Sumi: what are you finding?

Me: not much so far..(digs around) oh, that's so cute. Kyou, you really get along with Kazuma don't you?

Kyou: yeah, shishou's great!

Me: (digs around more) boring, boring, useless, boring AAAAAGGGGGHHH!

Sumi: what, what's wrong?!?

Me: oh my god, I'm scarred for life. Kyou, you are a sick, sick, boy.

Kyou: what!? Get the hell out of my brain!

Cathy: what is it?

Me: his porn. It's absolutely disgusting. I feel like I'm digging through a trash can, there's so much filth in here.

Kyou: agh! What did you find? What are you looking at? Are you looking at my memories?

Cathy: alright, while Kagura finds out what kind of guy kyou likes, I'll ask him my last and most important question!

Kyou: and what would that be? Ouch! Kagura, be careful!

Me: sorry…ewww! You actually did that?

Kyou: stop looking at my memories!

Cathy: Kyou, do you hate Yuki? or maybe you don't hate him? Maybe there's, um, how should I put this, something else? i don't know, like, umm, coughlovecough?

Kyou: what the f---?!?!? Why the hell would I love yuki!? I hate him!

Me: ah hah! I, my friend, have EVIDENCE to the contrary!

Kyou: oh my god, she found it!

Cathy: what, what!?! What did you find???

Me: this! (puts memory into memory-player.

_Kyou: yuki, you came._

_Yuki: yes. Now what do you want? I hope you don't want to fight me again._

_Kyou: what? How did you know?_

_Yuki: because that's all you ever want, moron._

_Kyou: oh. Right._

_Yuki: wouldn't you be more interested in something like this?_

_(yuki kisses kyou. Yes. On the lips.)_

_Kyou: wagh! What the hell was that?!?!?_

_Yuki: that was a kiss, you idiot._

_Kyou: uhhh…(blush, run away.)_

Me: hah hah! Got you!

Kyou: that is not a real memory! That was…forged! You FAKED IT somehow!

Me: that is where you are mistaken! I took that directly from your head!

Cathy: yay! Yayayayayayay! YAOI IS SO AWESOME!

Sumi: I loved that! That WAS awesome!

Kyou: maybe it was..um…a dream?

Me: hahahaha! Kyou is gay! But wait…he's in love with tohru, so he's BI!

Sumi: bi? Yes! Total coolness!

Kyou: oh my god. I'm leaving.

Me: normally I'd prevent that, but you need some time alone with your thoughts. Just some nice quiet alone time. All by yourself. Yuki, you go with him.

Y&K: thank you!(run away together. In the literal sense. Hehe.)

Cathy: well, sence he's gone, I'd better go too.

Memi: ok. You should come back next chapter though. You could interview me. Or us. Whatever. Possibly just Sumi. Kagura isn't big on interviews.

Cathy: ok, whatever's fine! I'd love to come back! See you guys later!

Sumi: kay, bye Cathy!

Me: bye! Ok, everyone, here's your chapter. It's a bit boring, but with any luck next one will be better. Longer, too. Send me yours ideas, thoughts, and wishes! I'll consider everything very seriously! Bye!

(end of Act 6)


	10. The Trip

**Note: this was written on february 21st. but then my laptop cord went screwy and I couldn't write anything. No power. :'(**

Disclaimer: If I owned fruits basket, there would be at least one serious yaoi couple. But alas, no. I also do not own anything else you might recognize, except me. Unless you don't recognize me. Then I still own me, even if I am unrecognizable. But if I were unrecognizable I wouldn't need to be disclaimered. Gah! My head!

This is the Fruits Basket Singing Game chapter seven! And guess what? That whole judging thing has been canceled/postponed, cause our peoples from Kare Kano got a bit busy and couldn't come. Sorry! So this chapter will be the Fruits Basket characters performing songs from the musical 'Avenue Q'. The songs being performed will be:

'It Sucks To Be Me', where eeeeev-erybody has to sing.

'If You Were Gay', an all-time favorite in the AMV industry.

'There Is Life Outside Your Apartment', something I myself did an AMV to, it's on YouTube. AND:

'Schadenfreude', which is just plain cool. :)

Me: OK, here's the plan. Today we'll be doing a very short fanfiction where we all have to sing three Avenue Q songs. Then we will have to stop and help Sumi with her two week roadtrip, which, I might add, is making it difficult for her to get on the internet.

Sumi: Yeah. I 'll try to get on as often as possible, but it will be hard in the desert, so don't expect frequent updates. Just this one during the trip, and then it's my birthday, and I'm having this HUGE TOTALLY AWESOME PARTY at a spa thing and then a fancy hotel for a night. So that will get in the way. But after that I should be free to update as soon as I finish writing chapters. And by the way, The Fruits Basket Singing Game will be no more. I am changing the name to 'The Taming Of The Fruits' 'Sumi's Excellent Adventure' or 'Everything You Ever Wanted To Torture The Sohmas With In Your Fanfic But Were Too Afraid Of Fangirls To Actually Do, a.k.a. Sumi's Torture Chamber'. You reviewers can decide for me. If you want it to stay the same, I could do that, too. Or you could give me a completely different name.

Rin: …I don't WANT to sing Avenue Q songs, and the rest I don't care about.

Kisa: Um, Kagura, I was wondering if, well, I could, um, not sing?

Me: Oooooooooh, you're so cute! Of course!

Everyone else: WHAT?!?!? Why is she exempt from singing all of a sudden?

Me: Because, there's not that much for girls to sing anyway and there are plenty of other girls to sing them. Anyway, the casting is below:

Kate-Monster: Tohru

Princeton: Yuki

Rod: Ritsu

Nicky: Ayame

Brian: Shigure

Christmas Eve: Akito

Trekkie-Monster: Kyo

Gary Coleman: Hatsuharu

Lucy: Motoko

Sumi: It kinda sucks, but it was difficult to cast people. So yeah, here it goes.

(insert it sucks to be me lyrix here)

Akito: Why did I have to be a freaking girl? Why did I have to freaking be in the freaking thing?

Sumi: Shut up. You go die! You go burn in hell!

(Akito dies and burns in hell)

Me: Hahahahahhahahaha!

(everyone looks at Akii burning in hell(there is a window downward)and stare)

Sumi: On with the show!

Me: Yes, indeed.

(insert if you were gay lyrix here)

Ayame: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Didn't I sing splendidly?

Sumi: Hai, oniisan! You did!

Ritsu: I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SURE MY PERFORMANCE WAS MEDIOCRE AT BEST AND I'M SORRY! I SHOULD BE PUNISHED! AKITO SHOULD SMITE ME! I SHOULD BE SMOTE! I SHOULD BE SMITED! I SHOULD BE SMITTEN!

Shigure: Poke! (pokes Ritsu's side)

Ritsu: aaahhh..(shlumps)

Me: Alright, we're gonna do the other two next time, or the time after that, or…

Sumi: Eventually.

Me: Right… so yeah. Cause right now we have to get off the computer, so we can't type what we're saying anymore. We have to get out of the car for some food.

Laterish…….

Sumi: I spy something…….green.

Haru: The trees out the window?

Sumi: Yep.

Haru: I spy something grey.

Kisa: The inside of the car?

Haru: No.

Hatori: The outside of the car?

Haru: No.

Sumi's sister MJ: The tip of Sumi's pencil?

Haru: Yeah.

MJ: I spy something lello.

Me: Lello?

Sumi: Yellow in disguise.

Me: Riiiiight. Um…my piece of cheese?

MJ: No, that's more orange.

Hiro: Kisa's shirt?

MJ: No.

Tohru: Your mom's scarf?

MJ: Yeah.

Tohru: Oh, uh…I spy something blue.

Sumi: My jeans?

Tohru: Er, um, yes.

Sumi: I spy something crunchy.

Haru: How in the world do you spy something crunchy?

Sumi: I just do, OK?

Haru: OK, OK.

Me: Haru!

Haru: Gack!

Me: (pounces Haru) Is it the doritos?

Sumi: Yep.

Sumi's mom: Sorry to interupt your game, but can we have quiet for a bit?

Me: Yeah, sure.

Laterishier…..

Kisa: There! On that red car's license plate! It's an L!

Sumi: Oh look, we're coming into a town. Reedsport. No M.

Momiji: There's one! Look! 'Momiji Teriyaki'! There's an M in Momiji!

Me: Oh, that's cool! Momiji has his own Teriyaki shop!

Latererishery………..

MJ: X…x….x is the hardest one to find. Oh there! eXtinguisher!

Rin: That white truck has a Y in the license plate. The white one.

Haru: Rin! You're playing!

Rin: No I'm not. I just saw it and figured you morons would be too stupid to see it.

Haru: O…K….Whatever. I don't love you anymore.

Rin: Hey! I said that first!

Haru: But I thought of it first!

Rin: No you didn't! I did!

Haru: Oh yes I did! You didn't even mean it!

Rin: Did, too!

Haru: Did not!

Rin: Did, too! Laaalalala! (puts fingers in ears)

Haru: You didn't mean-

Rin: I'm not listening! Lalala!

Sumi: AGH!

Latererisherierish than before…..

Kyou: Ha! Z! Ha!

Sumi: OK…so what do we do now?

Me: Whatever. I'm sleeping.

Kyou: I'm listening to music.

Sumi: I'm gonna sleep, too…

(Yuki and Machi have vanished, probably to the back of the van, which Sumi has designated 'The Kissing Spot')

(everyone else is being just plain boring.)

THE END….UNTIL WE WAKE UP.


	11. Subway

**Note: this was also written on the 21st. but again, no power. Or internet connection.**

Disclaimer: I own my horrible cough, my horrible laptop, and my horrible fanfic. That's about it.

Hahaha! Yes! I, sumi, have blessed you with yet another rot-your-brains-out fanfic! Don't you feel lucky! Right…

Kyou: INVISIBLE SLUGBUG!(punches yuki)

Yuki: THERE'S NO SUCH THING!(sticks out tongue)

Kyou: THERE IS! YOU JUST CAN'T SEE THEM! WANNA KNOW WHY?

Yuki: why?

Kyou: CAUSE THEY'RE INVISIBLE!!!!!!(punches yuki again)

Yuki: OW! DIE!(punches kyou)

Kyou: OW!(slaps yuki)

Yuki: OW! (cries)

(kyou and yuki catfight. With the double slapping each other's hands and looking away thing)

Tohru: um! Please stop!

Hatori: don't make me stop this car!!

Kyou: oh, we're so terribly sorry. NOT!

Hatori: kyou, shut up!

Ayame: hahaha! You obviously need to deal with them, so you could let me drive for a bit.

Hatori: no.

Ayame: I assure you I would drive with great confidence.

Hatori: I was afraid of that. I'm driving.

Shigure: I could drive ha'ri!

Hatori: I don't think you even know how to drive without going 100 miles an hour.

Shigure: the car could do that!

Hatori: no.you are NOT driving this car, end of discussion.

Laterer…………..

Yuki: (pokes kyou)

Kyou: (pokes yuki)

Yuki: Hatori, Kyou is poking me!

Kyou: you poked me first!

Yuki: did not!

Kyou: did too!

Yuki: did not!

Kyou: did too!

Tohru: (pokes Sumi)

Sumi: (pokes Tohru)

Me: (pokes Sumi)

Tohru: (pokes Kyou)

Kyou: (pokes Yuki)

Yuki: (pokes Kagura)

Me: (pokes Yuki)

Momiji: uh….

Other people squidged on the floor: can we stop at subway?

Hatori: yeah, sure. Let's go. (stops car at subway)

(peepsles goes in)

Counter girl: (stares at boys) hi..uh…how may I help you?

Hatori: tohru?

Tohru: ah, um, I'd like a six inch sub on, um…italian bread..with some..uh..roast beef…and lettuce….i think.

Counter: ok…

Hatori: yuki?

Kyou: why does he get to go first?!? I wanted to go first!

Tohru: I'm so sorry kyou-kun, I should have asked if someone wanted to go before me!

Yuki: I want a six inch sub on italian bread with cheese. Lots of cheese.

Counter girl: uh…just cheese?

Yuki: and add a little bit of turkey.

Counter girl: ok..i'll do that.

Hatori: kyou? You were all desperate to order, what do you want?

Kyou: turkey, and chicken, and roast beef, and tuna, and salmon, and..what other meat have ya got? Well, whatever you have. Just no leeks! Absolutely no leeks!

Counter: we don't…have leeks.

Kyou: good! They're poisonous to humans.

Sumi: I agree!

Yuki: ignore him. he just doesn't like them.

CG: ahhh…right. Tons of meat, no leeks. Coming right up.

Hatori: shigure?

Shigure: hello, miss. Are you in high school?

CG: um..yes?

Shigure: well, that's just fantastic!

CG: um..right. what do you want?

Shigure: what do I want? Why, I would like-

Hatori: ignore him. he's a moron. He wants a cookie. Leave it at that.

CG: right. Ok. (is completely confused)

Hatori: kagura, stop typing for a second and order.

Me: ok.

Hatori: kagura? Stop typing and answer me.

Me: I said ok! Oh wait, I didn't. I'm not saying any of this. I'm just typing it.

Hatori: kagura!

Me: I want a six inch sub with turkey, lettuce, and tomato. And haru.

Haru: huh?

Me: nothing….(whistles innocently)

Haru: (falls for it)

CG: turkey, lettuce, tomato, and haru. Right.(grabs haru and magically shrinks him to fit in the bag they put your sandwich in.)

Haru: ah! but now I can't order.

Hatori: say it from in there.

Haru: vegetables! Lots of them! Hold the bread!

CG: uh….like a salad?

Haru: ah. right. That.

CG: right. Salad.

Hatori: ok, after haru's brief moment of stupidity, it's Ayaa's turn.

Ayame: ha ha ha ha ha! I shall order with great confidence!

Hatori: (grabs Ayaa) just. Order. The. Gorram(see AN). Food.

Ayame: kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I want a meatball sub! Six inch! On ITALIAN BREAD!!!!

CG: uh….cheese?

Ayame: PROVALONE please! With JALAPENOS!

CG: uh…ok. Coming right up.

Hatori: sit down, ayame. Kisa, your turn.

Kisa: um, I'd like a six inch sub, italian bread, with turkey and swiss cheese. And some mayonaise.

CG: aaaw. You're really cute. Want a free cookie?

Kisa: um…yes, please.

CG: aaawww. Ok.

Hatori: hiro.

Hiro: I'm….uh…not hungry.

Hatori: hiro, you need to eat. Is there anything you want?

Hiro: err, not-

Momiji: how about Kisa? You loooooove her don'tcha?

Hiro: what?!?!?!? I do not!

Kisa: oh, um…

Hiro: ack! No, I didn't mean that! I mean..agh! I have no idea!

Momiji: hiro and kisa, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Hiro: WRONG!!!

Momiji: heehee. Hiro, say 'I less than three Kisa'. Say it!

Hiro: NO!!!

Hatori: agh, just shut the hell up! Ritsu, what do you want?

Ritsu: um, I want-AGH! OH NO! I DIDN'T MEAN TO THINK ONLY OF MYSELF! I DON'T WANT TO PRESSURE YOU INTO GETTING ME WHAT I WANT! AHHH! NOOOO! I MUSTN'T WANT ANYTHING AT ALL! AAAGHH!!

Hatori: (pokes. Ritsu: swumph) rin. You. Now.

Rin: I can't eat. I'll throw up again.

Hatori: (long-suffering sigh) fine, fine. Nobody eats anymore. Kureno?

Kureno: …

Hatori: AGH!!! Akito, order something! RIGHT NOW!

Akito: I'm too sick.

Hatori: (strangles akito) ORDER!!!!

Akito: (ish choke-ed) uck..i..gluh..want….fish..ackle..

Hatori: (releases akito.)O good. Much better. Fish. Whatever kind.

CG: (comes up from behind counter) got it. Fish. Salmon work?

Hatori: that will be just fine thank you.

CG: right. I'll get right on that.

A bit latererishery…

CG: ok, here's your stuff. Bye.

Haru: can I be unshrunken yet?

CG: oh yeah. You. No, she ordered you, so you're in the bag until she takes you out. Sorry.

Me: yay!

Hatori: can we go yet?

Sumi: no. MJ, mom, and I have to order.

Hatori: ugh. Fine.

Sumi: meatball sub. Six inch. Provalone cheese. Chocolate chip cookie.

MJ: tuna with onions. Italian bread.

Sumi's mom: italian six inch, roast beef, provalone, onions, black olives, lettuce, tomato, mustard, and mayonaise. That's it.

CG: um, k. hang on.

Teeny bit laterery…..

CG: there. Finally. Go. Your buisness here is done. Goodbye!

(everyone leaves.)


	12. Hide and Go Seek and Wishes

**Note: this was written on february the 27th. Got power now, but still no internet.**

Disclaimer: something that announces that no, I do not own anything. Not even a stupid little internet connection. Agh!!! I hate my laptop!

This is chapter nine of the fruis basket singing game. In the time between our subway stop and this chapter, a few important things have happened. Sumi will give you a quick summary of what has happened between February 21st and February 27th.

Sumi: ok. After the subway stop we drove. Kyou was put into a coma by yuki in the car, but hopefully that won't last long. On the 24th we stopped at a state park called Joshua Tree, and then we found out the power in our tent trailer was shot to shit, so we had no lights and no heat. That night Akito, so recently rescued from hell, died due to the cold. We had a proper funeral on the 25th, then we packed up and drove away in the hopes that no one else would die. On the 26th we arrived at my mom's dad's house, where he lives with his wife, who is not my grandmother. We are all staying here right now as I speak. That's about it. Oh, and we went to seaport village, and at the gallery there I saw paintings done by a 51 year old chinese woman named Jia Lu, and they were extremely beautiful. We also got fudge. Yum. And before that, we went to that place here. There's like a car museum, and an aerospace museum, which were both cool. And-

Me: sumi, that's good enough. We kinda get the point.

Sumi: oh. Okay!

Me: anyway, what you needed to know is that Kyou is in a coma, and Akito is dead. And now the laptop has power, but no internet.

Momiji: right! That's right! (does a happy dance)

Memi: why are you happy!?!? That's terrible!

Momiji: huh? Oh, I'm not happy about no internet. I'm just happy in general! I like sumi's grandparents! And their dog! And their house! And this city! It's so nice!

Kisa: um, ah, what is this….city, um, called?

Sumi: this one? San Diego, California, USA.

Kyou: I like it here too.

Yuki: ack! Weren't you in a coma?

Kyou: no. I was faking to make you feel guilty.

Yuki: I'm so glad you're ok! (hugs kyou)

Kyou: ack!!!!! (pats yuki gently on the back) ooook, you can…ah…let go now.

Yuki: (releases kyou)

Kyou: (vaguely frightened by this show of emotion)

Sumi: aaaaaaawwwww, that was soooo kawaii! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Yes, I was moved by such a TOUCHING scene!

Ayame: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Yes, I was ALSO moved by this TOUCHING scene!

Sumi: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ayame: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Yuki: agh! Now he has a female clone!

Ayasumi: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Yuki: aaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhhh!!! (runs and hides)

Me: oh no! I'm running out of power! Nooooo! The cord! It isn't working!

Everyone: nooooooooooooooo-

(power dies)

(sumi's grandpa gets a replacement power cord and she turns the power on)

Me: ok, we're back. Sorry about that.

Shigure: (yawns) is there a high school around here anywhere???

Sumi: shut up, baka-ka hentai!(see AN)

Shigure: ouch. That HURT my HEART sumi, my little housewife.

Sumi: I'm not your housewife!

Shigure: ha'ri! Sumi's being mean to me!

Hatori: shut up. She's right.

Shigure: wwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!

Haru: sumi…kagura…sumi…kagura…sumi…kagura…

Me: what are you talking about?

Sumi: yeah, what's up?

Haru: I'm trying to decide which of you I like better.

Me: well, it's kind of obvious.

Sumi: yeah. VERY obvious.

Memi: ME!

Me: no, ME!

Sumi: no, he loves ME!

Haru: (cries) I can't deciiiiiiiide!

Me: mind sharing?

Sumi: not really.

Haru: yay!!!!!!!

Me: yeah, plus, we

Sumi: become like

Memi: one person

Me: anyway.

Sumi: so no big deal.

Haru: yay:)

Shigure: what about me?

Sumi: I don't love you.

Shigure: why?

Sumi: …..cause…..

Shigure: that's not a good reason! That's not even a reason at all!

Ayame: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! It is because you simply do not emit an AURA OF ROMANCE!!!!!! Haru, on the other hand, apeals to girls due to his WILD side, and his KIND side, and combined with natural sohma good looks, he's irresistably romantic! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You, on the other hand, have a flatly perverted personality and your looks, while incredibly handsome, simply do not APEAL to females as much as his.

Kyou: thank you for that long and extremely unneccessary explaination. Really.

Ayame: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I try my best.

Sumi: hai, onii-san!

Ayame: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Yuki: aaaaaaaagh! He laughs too much! Someone, make it stop!!!!

Ayame: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Much more later………

Momiji: one mississippi, two mississippi, three mississippi……..(and so forth)

Everyone: hide, hide! Run!

Kyou: tohru, come with me!

Tohru: (confused) ah, ok, kyou-kun!

(kyou and tohru run off to hide together)

Yuki: machi, come on!

Machi: ok.

(yuki and machi run off to hide together)

(everyone else ish running and hiding)

Momiji: forty-two mississippi, forty-three mississippi, eighty-six mississippi, ninety-three mississippi, ninety-eight mississippi, ninety-nine mississippi, one hundred mississippi!

(begins to look for people)

Momiji: haru, sumi! You guys didn't even hide!

(haru and sumi stop kissing. Evil girl.)

Sumi: sorry.

Me: stop kissing my boyfriend!

Sumi: he isn't your boyfriend, he's our boyfriend! Sharesees!(see AN)

(me and sumi go outside to fight over haru. Haru comes)

Me(shigure sohma, that is): well. I say that didn't count. Anyone who came unhidden hide again. Momiji, close your eyes. You don't need to count though. Just wait for them to hide.

(momiji closes his eyes)

(unhidden people re-hide themselves.)

Me: saaaaaaaaayyy…..i can do anything with this laptop, correct?

Sumi: YEAH!(is hit by kagura)

Me: hmmmmmm….

(many beautiful high school girls who are madly in love with shigure sohma appear. :))

Me: cool.

Fangirls: oh my god! It's shigure! I love youuuu!

(fangirls fling themselves at shigure)

Fangirls: I love yooooooouuuu!

Me: he he he…(smiles at fangirls) I love you too.

Fangirls: wwwaaaaaaaiiiiii!!!!!!!!

(control of the laptop is seized by momiji)

Shigure: hey! You're supposed to be looking for people!

Me(momiji sohma): I already found them. You were too busy with your fangirls to notice. It's ritsu's turn, but we decided it would be more fun if everyone got to do one thing on the laptop, just one thing for everybody. So you get your fangirls.

Shigure and fangirls: yes!

Me: and I get….

(the whole world goes into bright happy colors with bunny rabbits and cute animals and lovey cuteness stuffs)

Kyou: agh! The horror!

Rin: I'm meeeelltting!!!!!

Hatori: ugh.

Me(isuzu sohma): ok, this is bad, but we're gonna live. I think.

Momiji: of course you will! The world is bright and cheerful now!

Sumi's grandpa's neighbor: why the hell is my car pink!?!?

Momiji: heehee. Pink is nice!!!

SGN: hey! Did you hooligan teenagers paint my car pink?

Yuki: no sir. My clothes seem to have turned green and purple also.

Momiji: yay!

Sumi: (having tied with kagura, she has returned) I make a rule that no one can undo or alter other peoples 'wishes' as their 'wish'. So rin, no world-color altering.

Me: damn. Stupid girl.

(everyone gets an abrupt additude ajustment for the worse)

Yuki: my life sucks. My mother is a bitchy whore who hates me and tries to control me.

Momiji: I am drowning in my pain. My mother abandoned meeeee!!!! I can never speak to my cute little sister, and I barely see my father. Tohru is my only friend.

Tohru: my parents are dead. My grandfather is old and sick. My family are evil people. Kyou doesn't pay enough attention to me. Everything is horrible.

Sumi: ugh. Rin! That was sneaky.

Me: why aren't you pyscho depressed?

Sumi: I've got nothing to be psycho depressed about. I love my parents and my sister, I've got a hot semi-boyfriend, I've lead a general happy life, and I can spend as much time as I want drawing manga, which is good, because it is my raison d'etre.

Rin: that sucks.

Sumi: everything sucks for you.

Kyou: everything does suck. My mother killed herself because of me, and I don't think shishou ever really loved me. Not really. My real father hates me, and everyone rejects me. I'm an outsider, and I have no reason to live.

Tohru: that sucks. Want to kill yourself?

Kyou: sure.

Sumi: agh!!! Rin! Give me that!

Me(sumi tanaka): yeesh. Here it goes.

(every sucky terrible thing that's happened to the zodiac members and tohru goes away)

Kyoko: huh? Why am I alive?

Katsuya: I was kinda wondering that myself.

Tohru: mom! Dad! (runs and huggles them)

Yuki's mom: yun-yun! I'm sorry for all the terrible things I've ever done!

Yuki: I forgive you. (hugs his parents)

Ren: akito! You can do whatever you want! I believe your bond with the sohma's is real! I love you!

Akito: (hugs ren) I love you too!

Rin: you really suck, sumi.

Rin's mom: rin, you shouldn't say mean things to your friends. You're such a wonderful person, but if you act mean people won't like you as much.

Rin: mom?

Rin's dad: yes rin, we're terribly sorry for being so mean and abandoning you. We're so sorry! We now accept everything about you and we love you!

Rin: dad? Mom? Dad? Waaahhh!!!!!!(runs and hugs her parents, crying.) :'(

(kagura and her parents hug each other.)

(momiji's mother remembers him, and his whole family hugs.

(lotsa other stuff happens, but I don't wanna type it, so yeah. Everybody hugs)

Yuki: (poofs)

Kyou: (poof)

Shigure: (poofs)

Kagura: (poofs)

Momiji: (poofs)

Hatori: (poofs)

Haru: (poofs)

Kisa: (poofs)

Hiro: (poofs, just cause his mom wanted to hug him.)

Ritsu: (poofs)

Rin: (poofs)

Kureno: (poofs)

Tohru: ah! they've all turned into animals!

Sumi: maybe….we'd better….deal with this..yeah…………bye.


	13. Chapter Nine and A Half: The Zoo

**Note: this was written on March 1st. still no internet.**

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! NADA!

This is chapter nine and a half! But soon, CHAPOTER TEN! Then we can start with the Rejoicing! In this chapter, we shall take a break from 'wishes' to visit the zoo. It's our last day in San Diego, so we're doing a bit of exploring.

Sumi: ok, everyone follow me!

Ticket Guy: tickets?

Sumi: (hands wad of tickets to TG)

TG: thank you.

Me(Ayame sohma): let us go examine the REPTILES!

Sumi: yes! Let's!

At the reptile house…….

Girl: whoooaa!

Boy: ug, that's NASTY!

Yuki:…I have never…seen ANYTHING…ug.

Sumi: let's go. I have pet rats, I don't want to see a snake eating one.

Yuki: right. Good.

At the twin spotted rattlesnake……..

Me: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hello, my tiny brethren! How wonderful to see you!

Sumi: ooh, look at this one under a log! 'Jerdan's pit viper'.

Momiji: cool! Look at that!

Akito: 'Taiwan beauty snake'. I like it. I think I want it for a pet. (breaks glass)

(alarms go off)

Akito hahaha! Goodbye, fools!(runs off with snake)

Later….

Sumi: this is 'heloderma suspectum', more commonly known as the Gila monster. You can see it's black and red body here underneath this rock-

Haru: shut up. Look at this huge yellow one. A 'Burmese python'.

Akito: oooh! I want that one too! (breaks glass)

(alarms go off)

Akito: hahaha! Goodbye, fools! (runs off with snake)

Sumi: let's go.

Yuki: uh….yeah.

Me: very well. GOODBYE, MY SLITHERY FRIENDS!!!!!!

Outside the reptile house….

Sumi: I've just thought of something.

Kyou: what?

Sumi: Akito died at Joshua Tree.

At the children's zoo………..

Kagura: look, look! A macaw!

Me: look, kyonkichi! It's a serval!

Kyou: don't call me kyonkichi! What the hell is a serval?

Me: a sort of cat thing.

Momiji: look at the Dik Dik! It's like a tiny deer!

Sumi: aawwww….so kawaii! (see AN)

Ritsu: a raccoon

Kisa: ooh! A wombat!

Yuki: baby mice! So cute!

Ayame: …(stares)

Yuki: (hits ayaa) come on! They're babies! Ugh, I hate you!

Sumi: let's go to the petting area!

Hiro: ugh.

Kisa: yeah!

Hiro: let's go.

In the petting area………

Hiro: ack! I'm being attacked by goats!

(goats nuzzle at Hiro. So does the sheep.)

Sumi: they aren't attacking you Hiro. They like you!

Hiro: well, I don't particularly (is nuzzled) like them!

Kyou: come on, baka, I wanna get out of here! (grabs at Hiro) (is smashed into by angry goat)

Sheep: bbaaaaa baaabaaa!

Hiro: they don't like you, Kyou. It seems they're irritated you tried to touch me.

Sheep: baaaabaaa baaaaaaaa bleat baa baaaaaaabaaa!

Hiro: apparently, I am their new god. Guess you can't get near me, kyonkichi.(smirks)

Kyou: grrrrrr…………(attacks Hiro) DON'T CALL ME KYONKICHI!

(all goats and one sheep attack Kyou)

Kyou: agh! Shit! GET THEM OFF!

Sumi: umm…oh! Come on, Kyou! This way!

Kyou: where-(is dragged)-ahh!

At the ocelot………

Kyou: meow mreow, meeeow, meow meow.

Ocelot: meow rar, rarrr meeeooow!

Sumi: …

Kyou: meow, meowr mew!

Ocelot: meowr rar mew!

Kyou: ok Sumi, let's go get lunch.

Sumi: …kay….

At lunch……….

Everyone: …..chomp…..chomp…..

Sumi: let's….go home….

Me: YES! LET US RETURN!!!

Everyone else: right. Ok.

THE END

AN: that was the short trip to the zoo. Since it was my last day in San Diego, it's their last day also. We're gonna head home tomorrow. I'll have one more driving fanfic, and then I'll be back home. However, do not fear. Many interesting things are yet to come!


	14. Inuyasha, Slugs, And The Letter Horse

Ok, finally, after months of waiting, I, the insufferable Sumi-chan, have returned with a tenth chapter of the Fruits Basket Singing Game! Yay! I have a surprise for you this time, but you'll have to wait and see what it is.

DISCLAIMER: Fruits Basket is Mine! Haha!(see end of chapter for more information)

Sumi: hello, and welcome back to the Singing Game. it's been so long since I wrote a chapter, I've forgotten what happened last time. You've probably forgotten too. So we're considering this chapter something along the lines of a clean slate.

Kagura: right. Also, some guests will be joining us today.

Momiji: yeah! New friends!

Kagura: in Sumi's case, their old friends she has recently, shall we say, rediscovered.

Sumi: Kagura, shut up, you're giving things away!

Kagura: oops. Sorry.

Sumi: ok, to start off, we'll introduce all our guests. If the entire audience would look to THAT corner of the stage please.

(spotlight shines on a girl in a Japanese school uniform)

Momiji: ooh! Ooh! I know who that is! That's Kagome Higurashi!

Sumi: correct! Get the boy some carrots! Kagome Higurashi, from the Anime 'Inuyasha' will be joining us, along with her friends, and a few of her enemies. See 'em? See?

(armed bodyguards march Inuyasha into the room)

Sumi: yay! Inu-chan! Wait, where's Sesshy? I want him NOW!

(Sesshoumaru walks elegantly onto the stage.)

Sumi: yyaaaaaayyy! (glomps Sesshy)

Sesshoumaru: aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Kagura: hey….if I'm 'Kagura'….and you're 'Sumi'…..who's 'Me'?

Me: I am.

Kagura: yes, but who are you?

Me: Me.

Kagura: gggrrrrrrr….don't make me go 'crazy pig' on you…..

Me: Ayame.

Kagura: thank you.

(everyone, including Inuyasha cast, are suddenly dressed in Ayaa-type clothes)

Kagura: Ayame! Change us back!

Me: (sigh) very well, Kagura. But only if Tohru agrees to keep her outfit.

Tohru: (looks at skimpy pink dress she's wearing) eerrrr…k…..

Me: yay! (everyone changes back to their regular clothes.

Sesshoumaru: this Sesshoumaru demands an explaination at immediately!

Sumi: ok, ok, chill, Sesshy-sama. This is a fanfic.

Sesshoumaru: (quivers in fear) a f-f-f-fa-a-an-nf-f-fic?

Sumi: yep!

Sesshoumaru: (screams like Rin and has a nervous breakdown) oh god…oh god no…no…Demon-Slayers…or..Priestesses…or..Rin…please, god!

Akito: hey, I have just as much control around here as you do. The only way to be in charge here is to have the laptop. Then you're the author and can do anything.

Kyou: what's he saying about demon slayers and priestesses anyway?

Sumi: I believe he's thinking of all the Sesshoumaru/Kagome and Sesshoumaru/Sango fics he's ever been in, and isn't quite himself at the moment.

Me: anyway, I don't want to individually introduce everyone, so I'll just tell you our speciual guests. We have Kagome, Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru, Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Kirara, Naraku, Kagura-

Kagura: huh?

Kagura: not you, me.

Kagura: uuummmm….

Me: -Kanna, Kouga, Ayame, Myoga, and for some strange reson, Ranma.

Ranma: who are you people? And if a single one of you says you're my fiancee. You are so totally and completely DEAD!

Kagura: umm…I'm marrying Haru. who are all of you people anyway? Isn't this the FRUITS BASKET singing game? or…..whatever…..

Sumi: right you are, Kagura. So they should go.

(inuyasha people vanish.)

Me: oh, and you too.

(ranma vanishes.)

Sumi: oh! Oh! Guess what?

Hatori: I couldn't possibly. You'll have to tell me.

Sumi: ok! In my city, we have something that my sister and I call 'The Mabudachi Trio Corner'. It's across the street from Bartell's.

Shigure: why do you call it that?

Sumi: because it consists of threee shops perfectly suited to you guys. First, there's an Adult Shop, that's Gure-san. then a MedPrep thing, for Hatori. And next to that is a Nail Salon, for Ayame. And then you can go and eat at the Sub Shop with Akito, Mine, and Mayuko! Yay! wait…is Akito alive or not?

Akito: alive.

Sumi: ohh….

Me: let's kill her!

Akito: wwwhhhhhaaaa!!!!!??????

Me: yeah! Die!

(boulder falls on Akito.)

Akito: hahaha! You think a simple boulder would kill me?

(Akito is electrocuted)

Akito: that doesn't work either!

(a mad axe murderer cuts Akito's head off)

Akito: haha! (puts head back on)

Me: but I wanna kill her! oh! I know!

(nails Akito to a cross)

Tohru: but she'll be back in three days…

Me: well, anything helps.

Shigure: my poor Kiki-chan.

Me(yuki): sooo….

Sumi: yep.

Me: (sighs) it's only the third page and I'm already out of ideas.

Sumi: what if Haru-oh, that's right! I forgot to tell Kagura!

Kagura: what?

Sumi: you can have Haru. I have a boyfriend now. A real one.

Kagura: yay!

Haru: kay. (kinda sad.)

Sumi: (goes off into dream about her new boyfriend, who she adores)

Me: well, I think she was going to suggest that Haru sing something, as no one has sung anything in like six chapters. But what?

Kagura: what about that song by Big and Rich 'Save a Horse, Ride A Cowboy'?

Haru: no thanks.

Me: perfect. Haru, sing it.

Haru: ok. I do still love you, you know.

Yuki: I know. Black Haru pinned me against the wall and tried to kiss me.

Haru: hehe. Yep. Anyway…lyrics…lyricslyricslyrix…

Well, I walk into the room

Passing out hundred dollar bills

And it kills and it thrills like the horns on my Silverado grill

And I buy the bar a double round of crown

And everybody's getting down

An' this town ain't never gonna be the same.

Cause I saddle up my horse

and I ride into the city

I make a lot of noise

Cause the girls

They are so pretty

Riding up and down Broadway

on my old stud Leroy

And the girls say

Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

Everybody says

Save a horse, Ride a cowboy

Sumi: yay, haru!

Haru: thank you.

Kagura: I thought you were wonderful too, my love!

Haru: thank you too, kagura.

Kagura: I love you, haru-koi!(koilove/lover)

Haru: love you too. (tows kagura away)

Sumi: where are you gooooiiiinnnggg?

Haru: my room.

Sumi: you don't have a room.

(haru and kagura go to haru's room)

Sumi: what was that for?

Me: dunna. Felt like it.

Sumi: (sigh)

Me: yeah.

Sumi: oh! Kyou! Come over here a sec!

Kyou: no.

(kyo comes over.)

Sumi: thanks.

Me: don't mention it.

Kyo: what?

Sumi: look what I have! (rolls back left sleeve)

Kyo: (gasps and checks own arm nervously.)

Hatori: do you guys have a disease of the arm or something?

Kyo: no…she's wearing my beads…but I have my beads.

Sumi: yup! I made them myself! See? Red, white, red, white.

Kyo: it's dark red.

Sumi: whatever.

Kyou: how did you…get them…red?

Sumi: paint.

(kyo anime falls)

Sumi: what, it's not like I'm going to go around stabbing people in the neck.

Kyou: I know. I was worried you'd cut yourself.

Sumi: nope. It's red and black paint mixed for the proper dark red color and carelessly brushed on to give a blotchy splattered effect.

Kyo: very nice.

Sumi: it is, isn't it? but the real ones are better. (steals kyou's beads.)

Kyou: aahh! (turns into the bug/cat/grasshopper thing)

Sumi: (puts on kyobeads) yay!

Grasshopper!kyou: ggrrrrrr…..

Sumi: bad grasshopper. Mine.

(sumi magics up a glothespin.)

Sumi: (sticks on nose.) thanks, yuki.

Me(from way across the room, by the window.): any time.

Sumi: annnnyway, why don't you try mine on? Here! (puts her beads on grasshopper!kyou.

Grasshopper!kyo: (turns normal)

Kyo: weird. These work too.

Sumi: awesome. I wonder if something will happen to me when I take these off?

Kyou: dunno.

Sumi: let's see. (taks off kyou beads)

Sumi: great. I'm a butterfly/slug/dog. That's just dandy.

Kyo: wow…

Slug!sumi: so..let's go terrorize some normal people. Take off my beads.

Kyou: (takes off sumi's kyobeads.)

Grasshopper!kyou: ready?

Slug!sumi: ready. Let's go.

(scuttle and slither off to scare people.)

Tohru: I accepted him and all…but…um…do you think she just pwned me?

Me: yes. Yes I do.

Tohru: oh.

Me: she turned into a freaking slug. One that smelled like dirty feet with a hint of banana, interlaced with vanilla and lavender. You didn't even like his form.

Tohru: yes. I've been pwned.

Me: very much so.

Ayame: I feel like laughing…

Me: oh, no, don't! I can stop you!

Me(kisa): not anymore, sucker.

Yuki: kisa?

Me: yep. Ayaa, go ahead.

Ayame: thank you, Kisa.

Me: what did I tell you?

Ayame: oh, sorry. Thank you, Kagai.(evil, violence, or 'red light district')

Me: you're welcome.

Ayame: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha-

Me: stop.

Ayame: ok, Kagai.

Yuki: am I missing something?

Tohru: 0.0

Me: yeah. I joined Uo's old gang.

Uo: really? Why? Haven't you learned anything from what happened to me?

Me: that only happened because you were spiteful and ungrateful, abandoning your gang like that.

Uo: umm…(sweatdrop)

Me: hmph.

(uo's gang appears)

Tohru: ack! Nooo!

Me(tohru): kay…

(uo's gang vanishes, as does Kisa.)

Hiro: nooooooo!!!! I love her, dammit!

Momiji: ha ha! He admits it!

Hiro: yes. Yes I do.

In the frozen land of FurubaTokyo, they were forced to eat Uo's gang.

And There Was Much Rejoicing.

Me: I don't know what that was.

Sumi: that was me watching too much Monty Python.

Kyou: yep.

Kagura: you guys are normal again!

Kisa: and so am i!

Sumi: when were you not normal?

Kisa: …long story.

Sumi:o……k.

Me: well, um, we're out of time, but we'll see you again!

Kagura: may the force be with you.

Kyou: always.

Sumi: why did they just say that?

Me: er…I don't know.

Haru: a mystery…

(a group of men in black suits with briefcases and concealed weapons burst in)

Me: 0.o

Man #1: which one of you is Sumi Tanaka?

Sumi: er…me?

Man #2: come with us. (drags her away.)

Sumi: what? Why? Who are you? Let me go!

Man #3: (shines light in Sumi's eyes) where were you on the night of May 14th?

Sumi: that was last night.

Man #4: answer the question.

Sumi: I want my lawyer!

Man #5: no. now answer this one question:

Man #6: did you , or did you not, say that you owned Fruits Basket, Sesame Street, Monty Python, and Star Wars?

Sumi: when?

Man #7: a bout five and a half pages ago.

Sumi: umm….let's think…

Man #8: respond immediately or we will be forced to terminate you.

Sumi: ok, ok! I did, I did!

Man #9: arrest her.

Sumi: nooooooooo! I didn't mean it!

Man #10: move out. Take her away!

Sumi: I want my lawyer!

Man #7: we are lawyers.

Sumi: kids, this is what happens if you take credit for other people's work! So don't steal! Anything! Ever! Except maybe your sisters pencil sharpener.

Me: today's show was brought to you by the letter….

Rin: horse.

Me: and by the number…

Ayame: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Everyone: thank you!!!!!


	15. Monty Python and Duth or Trare

Ok, I've made decision. I'm ending this fic in five chapters. So, although this is chapter eleven, it says it's chapter fifteen because of my little notes. So while the real chapter sixteen will be the last one, it will be called chapter twenty. Got it?

Disclaimer: I doesn't own anything. And, I apologize to the lawyer dudes for making them come after me. Sorry.

Me: hallo!

Sumi: you don't have to say hello.

Me: awwww, but I want to!

Sumi: ok…

Me: hallohallohallohallo!

Kyo: can we get on with the story already?

Me: what story?

Kyo: argh! I don't know! But something I do know, is that your irritating little voice is getting on my nerves! (punches)

Me: wwaaaahhh! Kyo hit me!!!!

Sumi: I think you can guess who's writing this thing.

Kagura: ok, instead of singing, we're going to make people do some ACTING!

Sumi: yeah! They have to act out a scene from a movie.

Me(momiji, in case you didn't guess): ok, first up we have kyo, yuki, haru, and ayame.

Sumi: yes. And they will be performing a scene from the movie 'Monty Pyhon and the Holy Grail', which is awesome.

Kagura: anyway, you may proceed.

(kyo and yuki pretend to gallop as they come onto the stage, while kyo bngs two coconuts together.)

Haru: halt! Who goes there?

Yuki: it is I, king arthur, son of uther pendragon. King of the britons! Defeater of the saxons! Sovereign of all england!

Haru: pull the other one.

Yuki: I am! And this is my trusty servant, patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land, in search of knights who will join me in my court at camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.

Haru: what, ridden on a horse?

Yuki: yes

Haru: you're using coconuts.

Yuki: what?

Haru: you've got two empty halves of coconut, and you're banging 'em together.

Yuki: so? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through-

Haru: where'd you gtet the coconuts?

Yuki: we found them.

Haru: found them? In Mercia? The coconuts tropical!

Yuki: so?

Haru: well, this is a temperate zone.

Yuki: the swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.

Haru: are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

Yuki: not at all. It could be carried.

Haru: what, a swallow carrying a coconut?

Yuki: it could griup it by the husk.

Haru: it's not a question of where he grips it. it's a simple question of weight ratios. A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.

Yuki: well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that arthur from the court of camelot is here.

Haru: listen, to maintain air speed velocity, a swallow has to beat it's wings fourty-three times every second, right?

Yuki: please!

Haru: am I right?

Yuki: I'm not interested.

Ayame: it could be carried by an african swallow.

Haru: yeah, an african swallow, maybe, but not a european swallow, that's my point.

Ayame: oh, yeah, I agree with that.

Yuki: will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at camelot?

Ayame: but then of course, african swallows are non-migratory.

Haru: oh yeah. So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.

(yuki and kyo ride off)

Ayame: wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together!

Haru: nah, they'd have to have it on a line.

Ayame: simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!

Haru: what, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?

Ayame: why not?

Sumi: yay! hooray! Yippee for Monty Python!

Momiji: ok, next we have-

Puffycon: bwahahahaha! I have returned, and I shall eat you all!

Everyone: nooooooo!!!!

Kyo: Wind Scar!

Puffycon: bwa ha ha, ha ha ha! You can't get me!

Tohru: (fires sacred arrow)

Uo: Hiraikotsu!

Shigure: Wind Tunnel!

Puffycon: owch!

Momiji: heartscar!

Kisa: (turns into tiger, then gets bigger)

Puffycon: (attackythingymajig)

Kyo: backlash wave!!!!!!!!!!!

Puffycon: _poof_

Sumi: hooray! You did it! but..since when are you guys the Inuyasha cast?

Kyo: since we stole their stuff last chapter.

Sumi: ah.

Kagura: the authoress is getting bored.

Haru: yeah. She's running out of ideas.

Sumi: and she still has four chapters to write AFTER this one.

(I cries)

Kyo: hey…don't cry! Some things in life are bad  
They can really make you mad  
Momiji: Other things just make you swear and curse.  
Kagura: When you're chewing on life's gristle  
Don't grumble, give a whistle  
Tohru: And this'll help things turn out for the best...

Everyone: And...always look on the bright side of life...  
Always look on the light side of life...

Momiji: If life seems jolly rotten  
There's something you've forgotten  
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.  
Shigure: When you're feeling in the dumps  
Don't be silly chumps  
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

Everyone: And...always look on the bright side of life...  
Always look on the light side of life...

Rin: For life is quite absurd  
And death's the final word  
Tohru: You must always face the curtain with a bow.  
Ayame: Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin  
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

Kyo: So always look on the bright side of death  
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Rin: Life's a piece of shit  
When you look at it  
Haru: Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.  
You'll see it's all a show  
Shigure: Keep 'em laughing as you go  
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

Everyone: And always look on the bright side of life...  
Always look on the right side of life...  
Tohru: (Come on guys, cheer up!)  
Everyone: Always look on the bright side of life...  
Always look on the bright side of life...  
Tohru:(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)  
Everyone: Always look on the bright side of life...  
Tohru:(I mean - what have you got to lose? You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!)  
Everyone: Always look on the right side of life...

Sumi: that was fabulous!!!!!!! Wheeeeee!

Kagura: but we still need to write a couple more pages.

Tohru: what if we play a game?

Sumi: but this is a game.

Tohru: ah…yes, but Uo knows lots of games…

Uo: I do? OH! Yeah! Yeah, I do.

Kyo: like what?

Uo: how about 'I Never'?

Kyo: you're on, Yankee.

Tohru: is that a fun game, Uo?

Uo: oh yeah. Who else wants to play?

Everyone: yeah/me/whatever/sure/why not/other

Uo: kay, cool. Shigure, you get the sake.

Shigure: (puts down sake) got it already.

Uo: kay. I'll go first.

Kyoko: can I play?

Tohru: MOM!

Uo: yeah! Kyoko! Hooray!

Tohru: momomomomomomomom!

Kyoko: hi Tohru.

Uo: anyway, I've never been in love with Yuki.

(motoko, haru, and akito all take a drink.)

Uo: Tohru, if you've ever been in love with yuki, take a drink of your sake. Kay?

Tohru: um…ah…(takes drink)

Kyo: (glowers)

Uo: neko-chan! I get the feeling you want to go next!

Hana: funny, I don't.

Kyo: huh. I will then. I've never been in a gang.

(uo, kyoko, and kisa take drinks)

Kyo: when was kisa in a gang?

Sumi: earlier. Anyway, I wanna go next!

Everyone: kay.

Sumi: I've never kissed akito.

(kureno, yuki, shigure, and hatori drink)

Sumi: oooooh….ha'ri kissed Kiki-chan. Want to go next?

Hatori: very well. I've never been in a fight.

(kyo, yuki, haru, kisa, hiro, akito, and kagura drink.)

(the game progresses, until everyone is very very drunk, even Tohru.)

Uo: duth or trare! Let's play duth or trare.

Kyo: dhedkwkjdihw.

Uo: I take that…as a kay. trorhoo…duth or trare?

Tohru: duth.

Uo: ave whou ever made out with…kyon-chan?

Tohru: hai…

Uo: yuki…duth or trare?

Yuki: trare.

Tohru: I trare you to kiss haru.

Yuki: jdhehdieiduvie! Vherviej! (kisses haru really fast.)

Haru: (giggles girlishly.)

Yuki: hatori, duth or trare?

Hatori: I think you mean truth or dare.

Yuki: no, duth or trare? (breaks down into a fit of giggles)

Hatori: trare.

Yuki: ooh! I dare you to dance the cancan with ayaa!

Hatori: no.

Yuki: ok, but there's a punishment.

Hatori: don' care. Not doing it.

Yuki: kay. Make out with me.

Hatori: huh?

Yuki: that's the punishment. Yous gots to make out wif me.

Hatori: fine. (makes out with yuki)

Everyone else: (tiptoes away)

In the next room….

Sumi: ok, who thinks this hgas gone on long enough?

(general murmur of agreement)

Sumi: all in favor of ending this chapter right now, say aye.

Everyone: aye.

Yuki: mrrpphhm

Hatori: aarrmmph

Sumi: kay.


	16. Because God Willed It So

And finally, a new chapter of the Fruits Basket Singing Game!

Don't own nothing. Nuhuh.

Me(Sumi): hi! Hi! I know you're all insanely glad to see me! Or, hey, maybe you're just insane! Whatever floats your boat!

Yuki: oh, god, I hate you, woman.

Me: thanks a bunch, Yunyun.

Yuki:…garrrrrlll.

Me: weird noise, but ok. Now, who remembers what happened last chapter? No one? Well, let's check, shall we?

Rin: why I'm doing this, I will never know. Ok, last chapter momiji was 'me', people did Monty Python acting, we played I Never and got drunk, played Duth or Trare, and Hatori and Yuki were making out when we decided to let down the curtain on the insanity we currently call life.

Me: that was pretty good summarizing on your part, Rinny Rin Rin.

Rin: never call me that again. Ever. If you do, I will mail you to Peru in a box marked 'bomb' in bold letters.

Me: ok, ok. Anyway, this time we're actually going to…can you guess? No?

Everyone: SING!

(gasp)

Me: ok, firstly upseleses, Haru and Kyo, singing Year 3000 by the Jonas Brothers, specially requested by Kali anon. yep.

Haru: moo.

Me: are you a cow, or are you just mooing.

Haru: just mooing.

Me: ok, good. Anyway, Team Future, GO!

Team Future:

_One day when I came home at lunchtime,  
I heard a funny noise.  
Went out to the back yard to find out if it was,  
One of those rowdy boys.  
Stood there with my neighbor called Peter,  
And a Flux Capacitor._

He told me he built a time machine.  
Like one in a film I've seen,  
Yeah... he said...

I've been to the year 3000  
Not much has changed but they lived under water.  
And your great great great grand daughter,  
Is doing fine (doing fine).

He took me to the future in the flux thing, and I saw everything.  
Boy bands, and another one and another one ... and another one!  
Girls there with round hair like Star Wars float above the floor

We drove around in a time machine,  
Like the one in the film I've seen..  
Yeah... he said...

He said, I've been to the year 3000.  
Not much has changed but they lived under water,  
And your great great great grand daughter,  
Is doing fine (doing fine).

I took a trip to the year 3000.  
This song had gone multi-platinum.  
Everybody bought our 7th album.  
It had outsold Kelly Clarkson.  
I took a trip to the year 3000.  
This song had gone multi-platinum.  
Everybody bought our 7th album, 7th album, 7th album.

(and so on)

Me: yay! good times, good times.

Kisa: what next?

Momiji: let's eat cookies!

(everyone eats cookies. Who doesn't love cookies?)

Me: but seriously folks, I'm way low on ideas as of late. That's part of the reason I haven't updated since like January. The other part is that I wrote a novel. I'll be putting it on fictionpress soon, if anyone's interested. It's a fantasy.

Kyo: that's interesting and all, but will you please, shut, up!

Me: sorry. (is all subdued and sad.)

Hatori: well…this is going just swimmingly, isn't it?

Exotic Dancer: yep. (steals laptop.)

Me: hey! I am NOT an exotic dancer! Jeez, just because I wear a low cut shirt! (gives laptop back to Sumi)

Me: thank you, Kagura. So…I normally like to have at least a thousand words in my fics…I'm only up to 666.

Yuki: cool number though.

Me: yeah, it is pretty cool. Hey, who wants to do a little play?

Everyone (voices filled with fear): what play?

Me: an original work I just thought up.

(groans all around.)

Me: you might as well just agree. I can force you to do it anyway.

Everyone: fiiiine.

Me: ok. So here's how it goes….

(_enter dream sequence type thing._)

Yuki(as a beautiful angel): here I am, fluttering down to Earth to have fun.

Momiji(as a handsome demon): here I am, flying up to break into Heaven and cause mayhem, lalala.

Me: Momiji! Less lalala, more evil!

Momiji: sry, Sumi-chan.

Me: no netspeak!

(Yuki and Momiji collide in midair and both start plummeting towards Earth)

Yuki: aaaaaahhh!!!!!

Momiji: aaaaaahhh!!!!!

(they land heavily)Yuki: you stupid demon!

Momiji: (sobs) sorry, Yuki.

Yuki: stay in character, please.

Momiji: oh, right. It was all your fault, angel!

(and then the Angel and the Demon fell in love.)

Yuki: is that the end?

Momiji: I wouldn't bet on it.

(and so they kisse goodbye and went to their separate domiciles, never to see each other again.)

Yuki: is that the end?

Momiji: nope.

(and so they kissed goodbye and went to their separate domiciles)

Yuki: you said that already.

(and so they kissed goodbye.)

Yuki: you aren't suggesting…

(kissed goodbye…)

Yuki: uh-uh. No way.

(kissed.)

Yuki: not doing it.

(kiss.)

Yuki: no.

(kiss each other damnit.)

(yuki and momiji kiss)

Yuki: there, happy?

(yes. And went away to their separate domiciles, never to see each other again.)

Exit.

Me: yay, a play! In one act!

Yuki: god, I hate you. You evil..ooh! and just…ooh!and sometimes I…ooh! Wanna…ooh! And then…ooh! Aragh! Aaagh! Araghaaagh!

Me: I know.

Momiji: that was a nice play, but why did I have to kiss Yuki?

Me: because…um…

Yuki: because she's an evil, conniving little…

Me: because…

Yuki: self centered, wholly unapreciative…

Me: because…

Momiji: because?

Yuki: stupid, irritating, boring…

Me: Because…because…

Momiji: come on, there has to be some reason.

Me: umm….because…god willed it so.

Momiji: oh. (accepts as total truth.)

Yuki: mwahaha! (steals laptop)

Me: I will now proceed to take over…THE ENTIRE WORLD!

Tohru: Sohma-kun, this isn't at all like you.

Yuki: of course it isn't. Who exactly do you think that is?

Everyone: what? Uh…(yes, we were all synchronized like that.)

Me: you people are so lame. You've ruined my dramatic announcement.

Yuki: are you blind? Can't you see who that is? For God's sake!

(your choice of songs/events in the next chapter if you can guess who it is and tell me so in a review before everyone else.)


	17. Lalala, World Domination

Disclaimer: In some universe, somewhere, I am the sole creator of fruits basket and hold all rights and so forth pertaining to it. But alas, it is not this universe, and this is purely a fanfiction in now way associated with anycopyrighted works

I haven't updated since November of last year. Eek.

Me: jeez, you people are stupid. I'm Akito, morons.

Sumi: oh. Sorry, Yuki.

Yuki: whatever.

Me: isn't anyone going to pay attention to me? I've just said I'm taking over the world, for My sake!

Sumi: oh. Sorry, Akito. Nobody really cares. Maybe Kureno or Shigure does, though.

Shigure: no, not particularly.

Kureno: (making out with Uo)

Sumi: so I just read Volume 19 of Fruits Basket. Wo0ts!

Me: where did that !#ing bird go? (searching)

Momiji: Happy Easter, everyone!!1!!1!!one!

(steals lapop)

Suddenly candy and chocolate and marshmallows rain from the sky, most of them bunny shaped.

Me(Momiji): yay! my favorite holiday!

Hiro: (seizes chocolate and dashes away to eat it in a secluded corner)

Rin: I feel neglected and under used.

Haru: I could un-neglect you.

Rin: back up offa mah grill, son.

Haru: …!confusion!...

Rin: er hem. No.

Ayame: I, too, feel neglected, and as if my presence has dwindled and become underwhelmed. I feel a desire to shine at all times, you know.

Me: OK, here's an idea. Everyone, in order of what cover they were on, gets to say who they are, what they're feeling, and what they wish other would do! OK? OK.

Tohru: umm…I'm Tohru. I feel blessed to be living with Kyo and Yuki and Shigure and to know so many wonderful people. I wish everyone would go on being themselves.

Me: awww. That's sweet! (cute bunny face)

Yuki: the point of this being?

Me: Yuki is a popular prince-like object who excels at everything but can't tell the girl he likes that he likes her even though we all know he really does and she likes him too. He feels angsty and pubescent, and he doesn't know why. He wishes his older brother would stop being so irritating all the time.

Yuki: excuse me just a second there!!

Me: moving on! Kyo!

Kyo: stupid bunny! (noogies painfully)

Akito: hello? Taking over the world here?

Me: Kyo is a violent, short-tempered outcast who wants to belong. He feels mostly angry, but he also feels luuuurve for Tohru-chan. He wishes he were accepted in the Sohma family, that Tohru would love him, and that Kagura would leave him alone.

Kyo: WHO'S VIOLENT AND SHORT-TEMPERED, YOU LITTLE BRAT!!

Akito: lalala, world domination…(whistles 'Early One Morning', an English folk song.)

Me: Shigure is a manipulative bastard who hides his dark self under an exterior of perversion and light-heartedness, with a few wise moments of advice thrown in. He feels great angry love for Akito, which is weird, and a desire to get everything he wants, without any work. He wishes it were easier to convince people that his outer persona was his inner one, too, and that his feelings about Akito and his life were clearer.

Shigure: 'Manipulative Bastard', hmm? Interesting…tell me, are high school girls fond of manipulative bastards?

Me: his outer self being demonstrated above.

Kagura: Me next! I'm Kagura, I'm madly in love with Kyo, I fell love for Kyo, I wish Kyo would spend more time with me and love me more.

Me: I'm happy, bouncy, love candy, bunnies, and Happy Sauce! I feel joy and joyness and happiness and love and laughter and candy, and I wish there was more candy, I could play the violin better, and I was friends with my little sister!

Hatori: oh, dear Gods above and Akito on Earth.

Me: Hatori is a beautiful angsty doctor-man who lost his true love to Akito's wrath, along with half his sight, but he will one day find love again with Great Teacher Mayuko. He feels sad and worried most of the time, for various reasons, many involving Akito. He wishes he and Kana were still together, that the curse was broken, and that people would stop getting emotionally and physically hurt, the latter of which causes problems for Ha'ri.

Hatori: Mayuko??

Me: Haru is a wonderful guy, my age, who turns into the cow. He has a black and white side. When he is white, he feels a wide range of emotions, mostly involving his love for Rin.

Akito: feh! Oh, and, that world domination thing? Still going strong, you know.

Me: When he is black, he feels anger and violence and pervertedness, still sometimes involving his love for Rin. He wishes Rin hadn't broken up with him, and that he had never been treated as stupid when he was small, and that Black-san would leave now and never come back.

Ayame: and ME! Wondrous ME! I am FABULOUS and PERFECT and EXUBERANT! I feel DEEP LOVE for my lovely younger brother, YUKI! I wish YUKI would acknowledge me more as his ONII-SAMA and that I could think of NEW more CREATIVE outifits for my wonderful little SHOP, which you should ALL VISIT!

Hiro: Momiji, you stay away from Kisa's personality, and mine! We don't want ourselves being amateurly psychoanalyzed by some crazed rabbit boy hopped up on the Q.

Me: (pouts) fiiiiine. I'll just do Ritsu then.

Ritsu: aaaahhh, NOOO, I AM SO SORRY YOU HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH THE ETERNAL HELLFIREY TORMENT OF AMATEURLY PSYCHOANALYZING MEEEEEE! OOHHHHH NOOOOOO!! IT WAS RUDE OF ME TO CALL YOU AN AMATEUR, PLEEEAAAASSSEEE FORGIIIIVE MEEEEEE! I'M SURE YOU'RE VERY EXPERIENCED AND SKILLED AT-

Shigure: (pokes)

Ritsu: (phlumphs)

Me: hemhem. Moving on then. Rin-

Rin: (growls horsily)

Me: continuing to move on then, Kureno.

Kureno: (muffled by Uo's lips) shuptff upf

Me: I give up. Here you go, Sumi. (hands laptop)

Me(Sumi): kaaaaayyy, thanks Miji-chan.

Akito: I am wonderful! I am powerful! I dominate all! Tremble before me! Kneel down like the miniscule ant-like subterranean worm-thingies you are! My awesome might shall devastate your countries and your continents! Your waters shall be of poison and your food shall grow scarce! There will be fighting and terror! Law and Order shall crumble to make way for Chaos and Destruction! Yes, Chaos! Chaos! There shall be much Chaos, and the terror you shall feel facing it shall be more terrifying than you could ever have possibly imagined before I conquered!

Me: Haaaa'riiiiii! Akito went crazy again. Give her her meds.

(Anti-Bush section to follow, with respect for Bush supporters.)

George Bush: (fires nuclear weapons at Akito, smiting her into dust.)

Everone: (stares at George Bush.)

George Bush: she said the T-Word 3 times.

Me: T….Word??

George Bush: Terror.

Me: oh. I see.

George Bush: (turned into small, harmless, slug by magical author powers.)

(End of Anti-Bush section.)

Me: well. That was certainly interesting.

Akito: aw, man, and just when I finally took over the world.

Me: what?

Akito: I died. That reverts me back to level 1.

Me: oh. I see.

Everyone: (confused).

Me: I'm…see…ummm….cut, please.

AN:Happy Sauce: a special sauce (invented by me)that's gives the drinker of even the tiniest amount huge quantitites of energy and happiness. Momiji must drink it, it's the only explanation. Joy and Joyness: Charlie the Unicorn. Haven't seen it? Watch it. Leave Now and Never Come Back: what Smeagol says to Golum in one of the LOTR movies. I thought it was appropriate. Hopped Up On the Q: from comedian Dane Cook. 'the Q' is NesQuick, which is to be snorted, as it induces hallucinogenic responses. (not really. Please don't try it.)


	18. Last Chapter: The Point Being?

I am pleased and saddened to announce that my fanfic has reached the age of maturity (18) and will be graduating on to bigger and better things

I am pleased and saddened to announce that my fanfic has reached the age of maturity (18) and will be graduating on to bigger and better things. Alas, in simpler terms, this chapter is the last. Now, in it's conclusion, this fanfiction represents what it was always meant to be, really.

Crazy.

Disclaimer: nothing belongs to me but what I brought to this story. My insanity and my laptop are my own. Everything else belongs to the great Natsuki Takaya (with her al hings are possible) and to the characters themselves, who have offered much to this long and joy-filled tale.

Sumi: I'm very sad.

Everyone else: so are we all.

Me(the authoress herself): I would like to offer a brief recollection of some of the fics most joyful, fun, and laughter inspiring moments. If you, dear reader/reviewer, will bear with me, I will recount these moments in inspiring and remarkable detail.

Reader/reviewer(you): alright. (because what else would you say?)

Chapter One:

Yuki: why would I even agree to that??

Me: because if you don't I'll hug you in school.

Yuki: ok fine.

(yuki and kyou kiss.)

Me: omg! Omg! OMG! That was so freakin fantastic! Yaoi!!

(yuki and kyou wash their mouths out with soap)

Chapter Two:

Me and sumi: YUKI!

Yuki: What!? Why do you two keep picking on me?

Sumi: because we love you!

Yuki: huh?

Sumi: we..well, I can't speak for kagura, but I at least enjoy seeing people I love being psychologically tortured. It's great fun.

Yuki: oh my god, you're a raving lunatic aren't you?

Sumi: yep! Crazy to the core!

Chapter Three:

Sumi: eh, kagura, it's time for either Hatori or Ayame to sing.

Me: (stops choking haru with hugs) oh, right.

Haru: God, Save me!

Akito: don't feel like it.

Haru: why not?

Akito: just cause.

Haru: please?

Akito: no!

Chapter Four:

Kyou: gah, no! anything is better than kissing that pyschic freak. ANYTHING!

Me and sumi: anything?

Kyou: yes!

Me and sumi: anything?

Kyou: ah….yeah?

Me and sumi: Anything…Kyou-Kun? Anything?

Kyou: maybe.

Chapter five:

Monster: muahahaha! I have eaten-grr, read. I have READ all of your reviews, and there are not enough! I shall not allow this chapter to continue! Muahahahaha!

Me(ka-gu-ra): oh no! Sumi, Tohru, Kisa, Rin, get ready to fight!

Sumi: fluffy flower glitter transformation!

Tohru: magic swirl cat transformation!

Kisa: dance twirl kaliedo transformation!

Rin: why the hell am I doing this? Transformation!

Me: Isuzu! We gave you lines!

Rin: it's not like the whole happy banana poof transformation actually wor-

Me: hahaha! Anyway, Sparkle Power Team, GO!

Monster: muahahaha! You shall never defeat me!

Me: yes we will! In the name of fanfiction, you shall be defeated! We will get you for your evil deeds, Puffycon! Sparkle Power Team, attack!

Puffycon: muahahah! You shall never defeat me!

Kisa: Sparkle Tiger Fire Glitter Attack!

Rin: Sparkle Horse Dark Magic Attack!

Tohru: Sparkle Tohru Smile Swirl Attack!

Sumi: Sparkle Ink Glowing Metal Attack!

Me: Sparkle Leader Pink Beam Attack!

Sparkle Power Team: Sparkle Powers, ACTIVATE!!

(huge explosion of colorful poofs and glitter and stars and pink things)

Monster: ow! Ow! You stupid Sparkle Power Team girls got glitter in my eyes! Ow!

Me: yes! Another vicious monster defeated through teamwork! Yay!

Monster: owow! I need to go home and get this out of my eyes! Ow!! I'm leaving!

(exit monster, stage right)

Chapter Six:

(the world begins to spin and twirl. When it stops, pufycon transport everyone into a different world. They are all standing around at home.)

Tooru sighd and streched. "omg, no1 iz arond." She said. (no, tohru isn't speaking in tongues. She's just been transported into a really horrible fanfic). Sudenli, ther wus a nock at te dor. "oh, I wunder hu that cud b?" she wundered. Tooru went and anserd it. Ther wus a gurl hu wus all bluudy. "oh my god, wat happened 2 u?" she askd her. the gurl wus cring and crying. Tooru brot her insid. Ten kyo cam insid. "oh, kyo-kun" said tooru, bluushing. "hi, tooru." Said kyo, and he wus blushing to. Then he sahw the gurl. "hu the hec iz she" he askd? Tooru paniced. "o, she wus otside all blody and I hd 2 sav her!" panicd tooru. And then the fanfic went really fast and kyo fell madly in love with the girl and then he found out she was actually a zodiac member who got left out like him and yuki and 'tooru' fell in love also, and everyone yelled at akito and then it ended. Why, you ask? Because all that horrible spelling was hurting me. Guess what else? The puffycon transported everyone back to the game. The bad spelling was hurting him too. Apparently, puffball covered monsters are allergic to bad spelling.

Chapter Seven:

Ritsu: I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SURE MY PERFORMANCE WAS MEDIOCRE AT BEST AND I'M SORRY! I SHOULD BE PUNISHED! AKITO SHOULD SMITE ME! I SHOULD BE SMOTE! I SHOULD BE SMITED! I SHOULD BE SMITTEN!

Sumi: I spy something…….green.

Haru: The trees out the window?

Sumi: Yep.

Haru: I spy something grey.

Kisa: The inside of the car?

Haru: No.

Hatori: The outside of the car?

Haru: No.

Sumi's sister MJ: The tip of Sumi's pencil?

Haru: Yeah.

MJ: I spy something lello.

Me: Lello?

Sumi: Yellow in disguise.

Me: Riiiiight. Um…my piece of cheese?

MJ: No, that's more orange.

Hiro: Kisa's shirt?

MJ: No.

Tohru: Your mom's scarf?

MJ: Yeah.

Tohru: Oh, uh…I spy something blue.

Sumi: My jeans?

Tohru: Er, um, yes.

Sumi: I spy something crunchy.

Haru: How in the world do you spy something crunchy?

Sumi: I just do, OK?

Chapter Eight:

Kyou: INVISIBLE SLUGBUG!(punches yuki)

Yuki: THERE'S NO SUCH THING!(sticks out tongue)

Kyou: THERE IS! YOU JUST CAN'T SEE THEM! WANNA KNOW WHY?

Yuki: why?

Kyou: CAUSE THEY'RE INVISIBLE!!(punches yuki again)

Yuki: OW! DIE!(punches kyou)

Kyou: OW!(slaps yuki)

Yuki: OW! (cries)

Haru: vegetables! Lots of them! Hold the bread!

CG: uh….like a salad?

Haru: ah. right. That.

Chapter Nine:

Momiji: forty-two mississippi, forty-three mississippi, eighty-six mississippi, ninety-three mississippi, ninety-eight mississippi, ninety-nine mississippi, one hundred mississippi!

Chapter Nine and a half:

Me: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hello, my tiny brethren! How wonderful to see you!

Sumi: ooh, look at this one under a log! 'Jerdan's pit viper'.

Momiji: cool! Look at that!

Akito: 'Taiwan beauty snake'. I like it. I think I want it for a pet. (breaks glass)

(alarms go off)

Akito hahaha! Goodbye, fools!(runs off with snake)

Haru: shut up. Look at this huge yellow one. A 'Burmese python'.

Akito: oooh! I want that one too! (breaks glass)

(alarms go off)

Akito: hahaha! Goodbye, fools! (runs off with snake)

Sumi: let's go.

Yuki: uh….yeah.

Me: very well. GOODBYE, MY SLITHERY FRIENDS!!

Sumi: I've just thought of something.

Kyou: what?

Sumi: Akito died at Joshua Tree.

Chapter Ten:

wait…is Akito alive or not?

Akito: alive.

Sumi: ohh….

Me: let's kill her!

Akito: wwwhhhhhaaaa!!

Me: yeah! Die!

(boulder falls on Akito.)

Akito: hahaha! You think a simple boulder would kill me?

(Akito is electrocuted)

Akito: that doesn't work either!

(a mad axe murderer cuts Akito's head off)

Akito: haha! (puts head back on)

Me: but I wanna kill her! oh! I know!

(nails Akito to a cross)

Tohru: but she'll be back in three days…

Chapter Eleven:

Puffycon: bwahahahaha! I have returned, and I shall eat you all!

Everyone: nooooooo!!

Kyo: Wind Scar!

Puffycon: bwa ha ha, ha ha ha! You can't get me!

Tohru: (fires sacred arrow)

Uo: Hiraikotsu!

Shigure: Wind Tunnel!

Puffycon: owch!

Momiji: heartscar!

Kisa: (turns into tiger, then gets bigger)

Puffycon: (attackythingymajig)

Kyo: backlash wave!!

Puffycon: _poof_

Sumi: hooray! You did it! but..since when are you guys the Inuyasha cast?

Kyo: since we stole their stuff last chapter.

Sumi: ah.

Chapter Twelve:

(_enter dream sequence type thing._)

Yuki(as a beautiful angel): here I am, fluttering down to Earth to have fun.

Momiji(as a handsome demon): here I am, flying up to break into Heaven and cause mayhem, lalala.

Me: Momiji! Less lalala, more evil!

Momiji: sry, Sumi-chan.

Me: no netspeak!

(Yuki and Momiji collide in midair and both start plummeting towards Earth)

Yuki: aaaaaahhh!!

Momiji: aaaaaahhh!!

(they land heavily)Yuki: you stupid demon!

Momiji: (sobs) sorry, Yuki.

Yuki: stay in character, please.

Momiji: oh, right. It was all your fault, angel!

(and then the Angel and the Demon fell in love.)

Yuki: is that the end?

Momiji: I wouldn't bet on it.

(and so they kisse goodbye and went to their separate domiciles, never to see each other again.)

Yuki: is that the end?

Momiji: nope.

(and so they kissed goodbye and went to their separate domiciles)

Yuki: you said that already.

(and so they kissed goodbye.)

Yuki: you aren't suggesting…

(kissed goodbye…)

Yuki: uh-uh. No way.

(kissed.)

Yuki: not doing it.

(kiss.)

Yuki: no.

(kiss each other damnit.)

(yuki and momiji kiss)

Yuki: there, happy?

(yes. And went away to their separate domiciles, never to see each other again.)

Exit.

Chapter 13:

Ritsu: aaaahhh, NOOO, I AM SO SORRY YOU HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH THE ETERNAL HELLFIREY TORMENT OF AMATEURLY PSYCHOANALYZING MEEEEEE! OOHHHHH NOOOOOO!! IT WAS RUDE OF ME TO CALL YOU AN AMATEUR, PLEEEAAAASSSEEE FORGIIIIVE MEEEEEE! I'M SURE YOU'RE VERY EXPERIENCED AND SKILLED AT-

Shigure: (pokes)

Ritsu: (phlumphs)

Akito: I am wonderful! I am powerful! I dominate all! Tremble before me! Kneel down like the miniscule ant-like subterranean worm-thingies you are! My awesome might shall devastate your countries and your continents! Your waters shall be of poison and your food shall grow scarce! There will be fighting and terror! Law and Order shall crumble to make way for Chaos and Destruction! Yes, Chaos! Chaos! There shall be much Chaos, and the terror you shall feel facing it shall be more terrifying than you could ever have possibly imagined before I conquered!

Me: Haaaa'riiiiii! Akito went crazy again. Give her her meds.

Chapter 14:

This is Chapter 14. if you're wondering why it's Chapter 18, consider that fact that there are three note-type chapters and a half chapter. So Chapter 18. I'm pretty much out of time to have any original material (my word count is at 1,705 already, and I usually only have 1,000 or so) I will give you one last glimpse of the particular section of my brain the is: The Fruits Basket Singing Game.

Sumi: well, that was a nice montage, highlighting our funnier moments. Of course, many were left out, and we highyl recommend you go back and reread them.

Akito: I'll smite you if you don't.

Sumi: Akito, you died.

Akito: have you not noticed that I DON'T die? I just keep on coming back. I've been dead more times than Buffy the Vampire Slayer now.

Sumi: anyway, with just 200 words left to 2,000, we're going to extend a short message from all of us, to all of you.

Everyone who ever appeared in Fruits Basket, and all the people who didn't appear in Fruits Basket who appeared in this fanfic anyway, for some odd reason:

Here is an important tale you should know. The tale of Erik, the Baskin Robins plastic spoon. Once upon a time, Erik lived in Baskin Robins. Then one day he was used and never thrown out my a very very insane young girl. This girl wrote fanfiction, and Erik quietly observed her, and read what she wrote. He saw many strange things happen. Eventually he decided to try his hand at doing the same, and this is how it turned out:

'Kyo Sohma was walking, when all of a sudden a huge gnome picked him up and carried him off. Tohru turned into a magical girl, and with Yuki's help, she saved him from it. In the process, Yuki and Tohru fell in love, which devastated Kyo. But then he met a beautiful girl named Mary Sue, they fell in love, and everybody lived happily ever after.'

The point being?

AN: there. At exactly 2,000 words before this note, I am happy and consider this a successful complete fanfic. Good riddance to it. I love all of my reviewers and every one of my 56 reviews, as well as all my readers who didn't review. Thank you, and good bye. I hope we will meet again some day, in the lustrous halls of Fanfiction Land.


End file.
